GamerDude is a chronic pain patient.  He has been on disability for a back injury for the past 3.5 years.  Unfortunately we are still dealing with this issue in spite of a 2-level spinal fusion.  Today he had another round of facet joint injections.

Last time we did this it caused a pain spike for a day or 2, followed by maybe 4 days where his pain was markedly reduced. Unfortunately, that’s all the benefit he got out of it.

We’re hoping that this round of shots will buy him a little more relief.

On another note we recently had to evict a tenant.

Before you think me a heartless B***H we only took her to court in Dec. after she accrued almost $10k in back rent. Unfortunately the memory lingers in that she, and her 3 boys, left us with all kinds of damage to repair.

Shall we begin with the wallpaper she put up without permission? Or the floor tiles she put down? Not only were her choices hideous but they were done poorly. Wallpaper seams crooked and peeling up, floor tiles placed on top of old flooring again crooked and peeling up.

How about her painting the walls what I can only describe as S**T brown.  To make matters worse, she painted around furniture leaving large sections of wall unpainted and applied it with what I can only guess was a mop. This of course only relates to the walls that didn’t have fist-sized or head-sized holes in them.

So my husband and father, who did all this when we first bought the home, are once again filling in holes, plastering, sanding, priming and painting.

She (or her sons) ripped the faces off of our cabinets in the kitchen, and bedroom doors off of their hinges …. so now everything needs to be replaced.

The carpeting needs to be replaced and I have to bring in cleaning people as it seems that in the entire 4 years she lived there she never ONCE cleaned anything. The thought that her sons bathed in that bathroom is enough to give me nightmares.

We have her security deposit, but it will not be nearly enough to pay for all the work. So when we take her back to court for the money she still owes us, we will be tacking on the balance of the damages as well.

I don’t believe I’ll ever see it, in fact we fully expect her to file for bankruptcy but I just can’t let her get off scot free for doing what amounts to stealing from us.

Blessings
Mama Kelly

2007 – we spent a lot of time considering and in the end decided not to persue a lawsuit.  We decided it would cause nothing but stress and disappointment.  I am a firm believer in Karma and so I trust that any justice deserved will in the end find its way to her doorstep.

Related Reading:

Complete Idiot’s Guide to Being a Smart Landlord

The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Making Money with Rental Properties, Second Edition

Written by Mama KellyTags:chronic pain, rental property

This was an article originally posted at Epinions.com on September 30, 2000. As it is not an “income generating” article I decided to delete it there so as to move it here instead with the belief that it would add interest to THIS blog. 

Please be advised that much of this no longer applies to my current health as I had a hysterectomy 5 years ago.

Endometriosis and Its Effect on My Family

I suffer from a disease called endometriosis. It is a disease where the cells which normally line the uterus are found elsewhere in the body. These implants fill with and shed blood according to the menstrual cycle. This causes inflammation, swelling, and eventually scar tissue (adhesions) which distort normal organ placement and function.

Many people consider endometriosis as a synonym for “bad periods”. And while having a more difficult time during ones menses is a warning sign pointing to endometriosis – it is much much more than that.This is a disease which effects every day of my life. It impacts not only myself but my husband and my children.Some of the ways in which this disease impacts my family is :

Difficult Menses

3 days of which are associated with particularly heavy bleeding, clots, debilitating cramps, vaginal pain, and diarrhea

This makes it difficult to be out of the house for any length of time. Going to the Mall, out for a walk, out to dinner – all of this is out of the question. Making love is simply not possible. I am miserable and all in all not fun to be around. I have to plan my life around these 3 days.

Difficult Pregnancies

I have been pregnant 4 times, 2 of which ended in miscarriage. In order to conceive my youngest I required surgery. During my pregnancies, I dealt with pain (as the uterine ligaments which have scarring and implants of endo stretch) and digestive woes from the adhesions, made worse by the hormones of pregnancy.

We face a situation where, though we are young, we know that this disease is robbing my fertility. That while we are still deciding whether or not to try again, my body may make that decision for us. That next time, surgery might not be enough and the knowledge that I am at higher risk for yet another miscarriage even if we can conceive again.

This is something I carry guilt about. As illogical as it seems in my heart I feel that it is “my fault”, all of it.

Chronic Pain

I also suffer from ongoing pelvic and abdominal pain throughout the month. This is due to the implants of “endo” themselves and resulting adhesions.

Due to adhesions on my bowel I live with pain on my right. This pain ranges from an awareness of pressure on a good day, to feeling like someone has run me through with a pipe. It goes from my front through to my back.

On a bad day it also radiates down into my leg and can make walking difficult. At its worst it makes me limp.

In short I hurt more days than I don’t. The days that I am painfree are brief and transient blessings.

I no longer can physically lift my older child. Carrying my youngest for any length of time it something I pay for afterwards.

Painful Intercourse

The endo on my uterus causes pain during intercourse. This is not an occassional twinge.

This is pain during the gentlest of love making. From start to finish. This is something which turns what used to be an act of love and pleasure into something I have to grit my teeth to get through and leaves me in tears.

This is sharp stabbing pain which takes my breath away with deep penetration.

This is pain that leaves me stiff, sore, and aching for 24-48 hours after lovemaking.

While my husband and I try and find time for intimacy, lovemaking is a rare occurance and has lost its spontanaeity. Every day I am grateful that my marriage is strong enough to survive this hurdle.

Irritable Bowel Symptoms

Again, due to the adhesions on my bowel – my toilet habits seem to be “all or nothing”. I tend to not “go” for days at a time, and then when I finally find relief it is by way of multiple trips to the restroom over the period of a couple of hours.

As time goes by since I’ve last “gone” I deal with nausea, bloating, and again more pain.

I have to be constantly aware of my bowel habits as adhesions on my bowel puts me at risk for an obstruction (a blockage in the intestines).

I have to make sure that if I’m not “going” I am at least passing gas.

I have to watch what and when I eat. I have to spend way too much time thinking about what goes in and what and when comes out.

I have to know when I am due for attacks of diarrhea. When they hit I am incapacitated. I must have full access to a bathroom, I get intestinal cramps, sweats, in short every time it happens it’s like having an intestinal virus!

Fatigue

87% of endometriosis patients report fatigue. This is not needing a nap (though they help). This is being tired all the time. This is going to bed exhausted and waking up tired. It is not having the energy to play with your kids. It is being made bone-weary by doing light housework. It is a tired that you can never escape.

Fear

Endometriosis is a progressive disease. Meaning that it gets worse over time. As time goes by I will probably deal with ever increasing symptoms. Odds are I will get worse. And this petrifies me.

There is no cure. There are treatments which can help pain, which can slow down the progression of this disease. But none of them work for everybody. All of them have side effects. And even menopause or a hysterectomy does not guarantee me relief. It is easy to get caught up in feeling overwhelmed and hopeless.

It is thought to be hereditary. Meaning my 2 daughters are at risk, and I have done this to them!! I may have cursed them with a life of pain and suffering and infertility.

It is thought to be associated with increased risks for various auto-immune diseases and cancer.

In short it effects every aspect of my life.

I am not the wife I wanted to be. I wanted to be a wife who had the energy to keep my hosue perfect. I wanted to be able to enjoy my sex life. I wanted to be a wife who could be there to fully and completely support my husband. Instead I am a wife who can barely keep up with the household tasks, who doesn’t want to make love, who is tired and moody and grumpy more often than not.

I am not the mom I wanted to be. I wanted to be a mom who played with her kids, who had everlasting patience, who ran around and planned lots of outings. Instead I am a mom who too often says “not right now hun, mommy doesn’t feel well”, who is short on patience, who just isn’t a whole lot of fun. Instead my children are learning way too young about chronic illness, about chronic pain.

I am not the person I wanted to be. I don’t even remember myself before endo. I know that I had more energy, I know that I had more joy in life, I know that I could do more. I never wanted to live this life – in pain and sick more days than not.

But, it is my lot. And so I make the best of it.

I make love with my husband when I can, and when I can’t we please each other in different ways.

I spend quality time with my kids with lots of hugs and cuddles. With days where we sit on the couch together and read and color and watch movies.

And most of all, when I do feel good we make the most of it. We get out, we do things, we enjoy the activities that on other times I would not be able to take part in. And I am grateful that I do still get good days.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

Related reading:

Endometriosis : The Complete Reference for Taking Charge of Your Health

Endometriosis For Dummies

The Endometriosis Sourcebook

Endometriosis: One Woman’s Journey

Through the Land of Hyster: The Hyster Sisters Guide

Written by Mama KellyTags:adhesions, endometriosis, health

This was an article originally posted at Epinions.com on September 1, 2000.  As it is not an “income generating” article I decided to delete it there so as to move it here instead with the belief that it would add interest to THIS blog. 

Death Time Gardening and Other Deep Thoughts 

My daughter is 5.5, and will be starting school in 5 days (GASP).  This particular morning found us talking about such a myriad collection of topics in the course of an hour that my head is spinning.

Time

I’m not sure what triggered this. But, my daughter started asking me about Past and Future. Ever try and explain the concept of TIME to a young child?? It’s definitely challenging.

“Yes dear tomorrow is in the future, as it hasn’t happened yet. But tomorrow will not be the future when we get there.. AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!”

Does Stephen Hawking have a book out there which tells me how to explain time, the universe, etc. to a 5 year old???

Speaking of the universe …

Suns Moons and Stars

My daughter has been in awe ever since a week ago when I explained that stars were really suns….just so far away that they looked tiny. She just finds this whole concept amazing.

I find myself paraphrasing the movie Contact a lot.

If every star is a sun, and each sun is circled by planets, then if we were all there was …. it’s an awful waste of space.

My daughter tends to agree!!!

So “yes dear, there could be aliens. No they probably don’t look like they do on TV”

Death

My daughter in her short life has lost 2 people who she was close to. Her “Nana” (my mother) and a Great-Aunt (whose funeral was the first she attended). Every so often we have a sad day. A day when she grieves my mother and Great-Aunt all over again.

Today was one of those days. My daughter truly misses my mother – even though its been almost 3 years since her passing. It’s not that I expected her to forget my mom, but I am shocked at the depth of her grief.

But days like this are opportunities for us to talk about how she (and I) wish my mother was still with us. About how she had things wrong, that the Drs couldn’t fix. But we also talk about how everything and everyone dies. And about our family’s belief that the soul does continue – whether that be in a “heaven” or in reincarnation.

Which brings me to …

Religion

My husband and I both view life from an earth-oriented perspective and we are raising my daughter with an openness to allow her to find her own way/path to the Divine.

Today found us talking about how everything comes from “Great Spirit” – that everything springs forth from that source. “Yes dear even pets.” And that everyone “sees” Great Spirit differently. Some see it as God, some as Goddess, some as both. And that it doesn’t matter how you “see” it, just that you live your life as a good person.

Which brought us back to death and to my mom and led us to …

Gardening

My daughter wants to bring flowers to my mom’s grave. We, after some debate, settled on planting bulbs — as they die but will come back every spring. Which of course launched us into a 10 minute ramble on how peach trees grow from peach pits and how peaches grow on peach trees and “Isn’t that amazing mommy”.

Isn’t it though?????

Blessings to you and yours
Mama Kelly

Note: The “child” referred to in this post is currently 13 and referred to on this blog as MissArtistic

Related reading:

Talking With Children About Loss

Talking about Death: A Dialogue Between Parent and Child

Children Also Grieve: Talking About Death And Healing

Talking With Children and Young People About Death and Dying: A Workbook

Written by Mama KellyTags:kids

After a number of years of absence I have resumed crocheting.  In the past 2 weeks I’ve managed to make a poncho and hat for my 6 year old, Princess Nibbles, a scarf for my hubby, and I have 2 other projects I’m trudging my way through…. 3 if you count the granny squares I’m making with scrap yarn.  I’m making an afghan in soft spring shades (green, pink, blue, lavender, yellow) and a poncho for MissArtistic in shocking shades of what she calls citrus but I call neon.

Simply Soft Quick Yarn-Limelight

Simply Soft Quick Yarn-Lemonade

 Simply Soft Brites Yarn-Mango

I’m enjoing it quite a bit, even when I wind up pulling out an hour of work because I misinterpreted a pattern or the pattern contained errors. Thank the Gods that I’m not a total nimrod when it comes to mathematical concepts or I’d probably resort to pulling out hair instead of just stitches. The best part is that so long as I stick to small portable projects I’m able to do it at work, while I work.

Blessings to you and yours
Mama Kelly
update: 2/17/06
Maybe just because they are A-holes, maybe just because it was bringing me joy, maybe because I work for an idiot company that makes money in spite of itself, anyhow … I have been forbidden from doing crochet at my desk …. the official reason?

We are not allowed to do, read, look at anything but our phone or our computer because it would interfere with our job. 

The reality? My numbers actually improved while I was stitching at work … the more I stitched the less i bitched, the more relaxed and content I was, the better I was at getting appointments set.

I’m one of those dreaded telemarketing folks.

Why do I do it? It’s very local to my home – which is essential since we only have one car. The hours are flexible – which enables me to take off when my kids needs me, or to accomodate my hubby’s doctor requirements. The hourly pay is good, even though I get no other benefits. So don’t hate me because I call the nation offering free chiropractic exams.

Well that’s enough for a first entry I think. Now it’s time to watch The Sopranos with hubby – I love that HBO is replaying the entire show to get us in the mood and mindset for the new and sadly final season.

Update: 2/27/06

I finished the poncho a few weeks ago and my daughter LOVES it … she’s even had girls at school ask how much I paid for it, and she proudly tells them it was “free” cause I made it for her …

Related reading:

Stitch ‘N Bitch Crochet: The Happy Hooker

The Crochet Answer Book: Solutions to Every Problem You’ll Ever Face; Answers to Every Question You’ll Ever Ask (Answer Book)

200 Crochet Blocks for Blankets, Throws, and Afghans: Crochet Squares to Mix and Match

Written by Mama KellyTags:crocheting, job

This was an article originally posted at Epinions.com on August 30, 2000.  As it is not an “income generating” article I decided to delete it there so as to move it here instead with the belief that it would add interest to THIS blog.

Asking YOU to Rethink the Word WITCH

“I was such a witch to my husband last night”
“My boss is just such a witch”
“What’s wrong with you, you’re sure being a witch today?”

I’m sure you’ve heard similar comments and given it little thought. We all know what it means. The word witch is being used in place of a word with happens to rhyme with it. Somehow it’s become acceptable, even amusing, to use this word as a substitute for a more offensive “swear word”.

We hear it in our daily lives, we hear it on TV, we even see it around the internet on websites and blogs.

However, when I hear (or see) the word used thusly I cringe. I take exception to it. Why, you ask??

I am a Witch

I follow a religion called Wicca and Witch is used to describe me as a follower of this path.  Wicca is “a pagan nature religion having its roots in pre-Christian western Europe and undergoing a 20th-century revival, especially in the United States and Great Britain” (taken from dictionary.com)

Wicca is an earth-based nature oriented religion which honors the Divine as (generally) both God and Goddess. It honors the earth as sacred and celebrates the cycles of nature seen in the patterns of the seasons and the phases of the moon. It teaches that we should strive to harm none, and that we tend to “reap as we sow”.

It would be obviously offensive if someone were to use the word “Catholic” or “Baptist” or “Hindu”, etc. as a derogatory term. If you were to hear the word “Buddhist” on TV used in place of an expletive I’m sure you would find it odd, if not offensive. If your religious title was used as an insult in of itself, I’m sure you would want to see something done about it.

And yet I hear witch used on TV on an almost daily basis.

To me this insults and demeans my choice of religious path. Am I overly sensitive? Perhaps. But I do not think that I am out of line in requesting that you at least consider not using this word as your “swear word” of choice.

Whether you feel that Wicca (or Witchcraft in general) is a valid religious path or not. It IS a religious path. I ask that you show the same respect to me, that you would show to anyone of any faith.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

Related Posts:
What Everyone Should Know About Wicca.
Meet Your Friendly Neighborhodd Witch (An Introduction)

Related reading:
The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Wicca and Witchcraft, 3rd Edition.
Truth About Witchcraft Today – Scott Cunningham

Written by Mama KellyTags:wicca

This was an article originally posted at Epinions.com on June 21, 2000. As it was not an “income generating” article I decided to delete it there so as to move it here instead with the belief that it would add interest to THIS blog.

My Name is Kelly and I am a Witch

Yes it’s true I’m a Pagan — which means that I am a practitioner of a religion which is not Christian, Jewish or Muslim ….

I am not anti-Christian
I am not against any positive religion
But I am what I am

I am Wiccan

I am a Witch

I honor the Divine as both God and Goddess
I see nature as a sacred reflection of that Divine force
I celebrate the cycles of the season and the phases of the moon
I belive in striving to “harm none”
I believe in reincarnation
I believe in karma
I believe in energy based alternative healing practices such as Therapeutic Touch and Reiki
I meditate .. I’ve been known to chant
and yes … I believe that magic works

I believe that by focusing our will and emotion we as indiviuals can effect change on our reality…. with the help of the Divine of course.

And as is often spoke of in regards to prayer — sometimes the answer is no.

I do not worship satan – in fact “he” has no place at all in my theology.
I do not seek to convert anyone.
I am not a “confused” teenager.

I am a grown woman who chose this path nearly 13 years ago.*
I simply live my life, as best as I can, while honoring the Divine as I see fit.

Are there some who use the word Witch with darker intent? Yes
Are there those who confuse Satanism and Witchcraft? Yes

But, please do not lump us all together.

Wicca is a valid religion, acknowledged even in the Army Chaplain’s handbook. (buy it). Is it for everyone? NO..

As so eloquently stated by the late author Marion Zimmer Bradley in her book The Mists of Avalon …

“all the gods are one God, and all the goddesses are one Goddess .. and there is but one Initiator…. to every man his own truth and the God within”

Which means (to me anyway) that there is but one Source and infinate paths to find him/her/it

Should your child begin to show interest in Witchcraft.. in the occult… talk to them, read what they are reading. Yes you have the right to control what goes on under your roof, but you can’t necessarily control what goes on in their heart and soul.

I ask that you keep your own mind open to the reality that Witchcraft/Wicca is just one of many religious choices. And that many normal, ethical people are practicing it as a way of life.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

* As of 2008 I have been following the Wiccan faith for 21 years.

Websites to learn more:

Wicca – from religioustolerance.org
The Witches’ Voice – witchvox.com

Related Posts:
I May Be A Witch I’m Not A Bitch.
Meet Your Friendly Neighborhodd Witch (An Introduction)

Related reading:
Truth About Witchcraft Today – Scott Cunningham
Witchcraft: The Old Religion – Leo Martello

Written by Mama KellyTags:wicca

Welcome to 2 Witches Blog.

If you are reading this, you are no doubt curious as to how this blog began and who are the two witches doing the blogging.  We created this post to help you sort it all out.  (Note:  all previous content from older versions of this blog has been moved here.)

Mama Kelly began blogging on this day (Jan. 25, 2006), the blog’s name was Mama Kelly’s Musings on Blogger - first post What Everyone Should Know About Wicca.

Shortly there after Mama Kelly convinced her best friend Lady Rose that she should start blogging too. And so March 6, 2006, Lady Rose started her very own blog called Purple Moon Garden on Blogger, and wrote her first post Lady Rose Introduction.

It didn’t take long for the two best friends (who are also witches) to realize it would be a lot more fun if they blogged together, so April 22, 2006 Mama Kelly moved her posts over to Purple Moon Garden. 

As they learned more about blogging and decided to expand, they moved all the content over to a free WordPress blog at the end of July, 2006 - the new blog was also called Purple Moon Garden but later changed to A Blog of 2 Witches. Mama Kelly and Lady Rose could now add pages and more useful content for their readers. 

In April 2007, there was a glitch with WordPress and the blog was shut down for several days. Mama Kelly and Lady Rose scrambled to start over and created a new account for A Blog of 2 Witches.  Once the old blog had been restored, they decided they liked their fresh start and decided to just stay there so they moved (once again) all the old content over.  Over the next several months the blog went through several changes, various themes, and a title change to 2 Witches Blog. 

Mama Kelly and Lady Rose dreamed of one day having their very own domain 2witches.com and they bought the domain name, but it took over a year to finally arrange for hosting.  In August of 2008 Lady Rose discovered that the hosting service she was using for her other blog had just added a new feature – a second domain could be hosted for no extra cost.  Finally their dream for 2 Witches Blog was going to come true.

It took three months months to set up the theme, plugins and widgets and move over 100 pages of content and two years worth of daily posts (over 1300), do all the internal linking and graphics, etc. 

Finally the BIG day arrived, Nov. 1, 2008 (Samhain) 2 Witches Blog held their grand opening on their very own dot com in thier new permanent blogging home – Welcome to the Grand Opening!

We hope you enjoy your visit here and take time to browse and come back to visit often.

Bright Blessings, Mama Kelly and Lady Rose

Written by Lady RoseTags:2 witches, introduction