1. I was given up for adoption at birth and I don’t know anything about my birth parents, not even health information. While I understand the wish for privacy, I firmly believe that adoptees are owed more information than is currently available to them in a traditional closed adoption. Especially any and all information that relates to their future health.
2. When I was younger I was always sick. Seriously. Family members were known to joke that it wasn’t “Christmas” (or what have you) if Kelly wasn’t sick. I’ve gotten better as an adult and now I am simply sick “all too frequently”. One year spanning Junior and Senior years of high school saw me with Mono, repeated tonsillitis, strep, and finally a tonsillectomy.
3. 3 years later I was in the OR again to remove my gallbladder which had developed much to everyones amazement 22 stones (I was only 21). For the record I consider the pain from my gallbladder attacks to be worse than going through an unmedicated transition stage of labor. I was lucky in that my surgeon was using the “belly button” method for removal.
4. I have a genetic condition known as Neurofibromatosis. My primary symptoms involve headaches, pain, and a degree of skin disfigurement. However, what took the most getting used to is the fact that dangling over my head is the reality that, while I’ll probably be just fine, NF causes tumors to grow whereever and whenever. Also, we do not yet know if my daughters have inherited my condition.
5. I have 4 tattoos. On my back is a goddess and a pentacle. On my breast is a small symbol I designed in my early 20s to represent the elements and the Divine. And on my ankle is a patchwork heart and my hubby’s name.  I have every intention of continuing to decorate my skin. Part of the reason is my NF which totally trashes my self esteem. Tattoos make me feel beautiful and sexy. For the record, tattoos hurt, but for me the pain is completely bearable. Knew I would use that Lamaze breathing again. I do however make it a point to use a reputable shop and to get screened for Hepatitis from time to time.
6. I had a hysterectomy and bilateral oophorectomy in 2005 due to severe endometriosis. The most troubling finding during my surgery was that my ovaries had become bound up with my ureters causing my GYN to have to call in a Urologist.
7. Recent blood tests show that despite my having been “neutered” a year ago I am not yet in menopause. After ruling out a pituitary tumor we are left with the conclusion of an ovarian remnant. For now I am ignoring this fact, as I am not prepared emotionally physically or mentally for another major abdominal surgery.
8. I have had 4 pregnancies, including 2 miscarriages. My first child was born after a long (LONG) labor which I did mostly natural. I took 1 shot of demerol in the hope of sleep allowing me to progress. It did neither. Eventually they broke out the Pitocin. My youngest was born after another LONG labor, but after being awake for almost 48 hours and only being at 4 cm I said yes to an epidural. In hindsight, that epidural probably saved her life.
9. When pitocin caused nasty things to happen to her heart rate they did a C-section and found to their surprise lots of blood in my uterus. As it turns out, I had had a silent placental abruption, which almost killed her. She was born with an APGAR score of 1 out of 10.
10. If I had the money, I would go tomorrow and get breast reduction surgery. I was a C in high school, a D in college. currently an F. My breasts have gotten completely out of hand and I wish almost daily for the ability to take them off and put them on a shelf.
11. I am a tongue thruster, and to less degree than when I was young have a “reverse swallow”. As a result I have an open bite. Possibly related is the fact that I have gone from occassional to practically nightly bruxism.
12. I have gotten into a place where I am no longer simply overweight. I am obese. I need to overhaul my diet and lifestyle and cannot seem to muster up the gumption to JUST DO IT. Unfortunately, food is one of my main methods of comfort.
13. My vision without my glasses is fightfully bad. My prescription is approximately 20/550. So for those of you with 20/20 vision. Imagine looking at something almost 2 football fields away (a football feild is 300 feet long) …. probably pretty fuzzy right? That’s what I see 20 feet away. It doesn’t really impact my life all that much because I have my glasses, however if I lay them down in an unusual spot before a shower or before bed I have to ask hubby to help me find them. I can read a novel without my glasses (at least until age-related farsightedness catches up with me) but I can’t use a computer (not even my laptop) or watch TV without them. And for the record I generally leave them on during sex or my hubby’s face is all blurry. He wants me to have LASIK surgery, but having seen it on TV but I’m not too keen on the idea as just thinking about all that slicing and peeling etc. makes me feel all ICKY

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Written by Mama KellyTags:endometriosis, neurofibromatosis

Friday hubby and I took the girls out to a movie. We went to see Over the Hedge. As the story opens we meet RJ, a hungry raccoon stealing food from a hibernating bear. He almost gets away with it until he tries to take one last item – a can of deep fried potato crispies and is caught red-handed (or should I say red-pawed). Unfortunately an accident involving a red cart, a steep hill, and a fast moving truck demolish the food before it can be returned. So RJ has to find a way to recover all the food in a week or he will become a bear snack. And slowly a plan is hatched to save his furry skin.

What can I say about this movie? The children, age 6 and 11 both enjoyed it thoroughly. There were several moments that had both hubby and I laughing out loud. And of course my favorite part of any family movie it had a couple of morality lessons included at no extra charge.

First and foremost it teaches the concept of “chosen family”. This is something we talk alot about in our house as there are several “aunts and uncles” that are not in fact related by blood – Lady Rose among them.  We explain this as we love them as if they were family so they ARE family.

Additionally in Over the Hedge we see examples of the importance of honesty, of doing what’s right even if it’s hard. The movie also pokes fun at the insane levels of extravagance found in modern suburbia ranging from the vast quanitities of food we eat (and waste) to the cars we drive to the insane rules found in many community associations.

Saturday was spent with hubby at the rental property and me cleaning and cooking as we were expecting company.  Our company, our friend E, arrived late Sat and left at 6:30 am this morning to beat the traffic as she started her 5 hour drive home. We had a nice time chatting and catching up. We all went out to a local pet store where you can cuddle the puppies because a) it was something to do b) it was free and c) getting puppy kisses is always a good way to inspire a good mood.

Not a bad weekend overall.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

Written by Mama KellyTags:life, movie review

1. His family life was pretty F-ed up in many ways that aren’t for me to share.
2. His parents split up when he was 6.
3. His father is completely cut out of our lives mainly because he’s a big ole **** including, but not limited to, often not paying his child support.
4. He was REALLY cute when he was 13 – I know cause that’s when I met him at a party. For the record this June it will be 21 years since that night.
5. He has always been an awesome kisser – we once spent an entire evening kissing on an oversized chair instead of socializing with friends at a party … said friends wound up holding up score cards ala the Olympics
6. He used to be a Marine and served in Desert Storm. I was in the middle of a housewarming party for me and my fiancee when he called to say he was going to be “out of the country” for a while – he wasn’t allowed to confirm when or where but I knew anyway – I left my party and went for a walk around the apartment complex to wrap my head around all the feelings that news brought up for me
7. I was in the car coming home from work when I heard the news that we had “declared war”, I cried. As the war proceeded I would watch the evening news whenever they aired a segment about the war – which in retrospect should’ve given me a hint that I was still in love
8. He saved little mementoes of our early dating, even long after we broke up and lived in different states. Including the candy wrapper I wrote my phone number on the night we met.
9. He claims that when he finally moved back up north – it was to “claim me”. He even sold his motorcycle.
10. He is 2.5 years younger than me. I look younger though mainly due to his getting his first grey hairs before me.
11. He is an avid gamer …. And at times has gotten pretty hooked on games causing me to refer to them as the Mistress
12. He is a chronic pain patient due to a back injury. He had a two level spinal fusion which really didn’t help much except for alleviating leg
    pain
13. He is my dearest love and best friend and I wouldn’t want to share my life with anyone else.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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Written by Mama Kelly

Okay i’m not sure that I loved this episode. The whole vision inside visions, dreams inside a dream thing was a bit much. And it did turn a bit much to tugging on my heart-strings. That being said, what struck me the most was the whole process of Allison accepting her fate. We all at times look at our lives and sometimes our loves and look back to our past and wonder “what if?”. For better or worse, what and where would that other road have brought me?

But something as simple to wish away as an old burn could have been a turning point in your life. So, the challenge is instead to look back at the entirety of your past and accept it because it led you to where you are today.

And, as I am wont do to, I fell victim to the heartstring pulling and sobbed quietly during the scenes with Allison and Joe with the Dixie Chick’s Lullaby in the background. In truth, for all of the pain and difficulties in my past, and to some extent in my present, I love my husband and I love my girls so much so that sometimes it hurts. And those scenes made me cry because of how much I do love my hubbie. How glad I am to share my life with him. How when I tell him I love him this life and the next … I truly mean it

Blessings

Mama Kelly

They didn’t have you where I come from
Never knew the best was yet to come
Life began when I saw your face
And I hear your laugh like a serenade

I slip in bed when you’re asleep
To hold you close and feel your breath on me
Tomorrow there’ll be so much to do
So tonight I’ll drift in a dream with you

As you wander through this troubled world
In search of all things beautiful
You can close your eyes when you’re miles away
And hear my voice like a serenade

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I’m never, never giving you up

Written by Mama KellyTags:marriage, television

but alas I am not ….

• I am in a hyper anxious mode due to getting off my medication routine again
• my tummy is all icky, it has been all day, but lying down made it much worse
• my younger daughter, age 6, came down with one of her spontaneous out-of-nowhere illnesses and was up at 1 am with a temp of over 102 (took it out before it was even done) after going to bed an hour early “asleep on her feet”
• since she’ll be home tomorrow and I have yet to go to bed I will also be home tomorrow and I am feeling anxious about calling out of work
• this is silly because where I work it doesn’t matter a whit so long as I work my mandated minimum for the week
• so I’m all wound up and over-tired and sick to my stomach and eyeing my meds and wondering how much worse 3 capsules will make my stomach feel
• and considering playing a couple of rounds of Katamari until I can fall asleep or heck just stay up till I put my eldest on the bus at 7:30 which is less than 5 hours away
• and I know reading this is as boring as all get-out but when you have insomnia and a blog it makes sense to post about it LOL

Written by Mama KellyTags:life

Here’s little “mystical” blog fun - Life Path Numbers. 

Lady Rose:

Your Life Path Number is 7

Your purpose in life is to find truth and meaningYou are very spiritual, and you are interested in the mysteries of life. You are quite analytical and a great thinker. You have many theories and insights.A life of solitude is perfect for you. You need time to think and do things your way. In love, you are quite charming. You attract many with your confidence and wit. While you enjoy being alone, sometimes you take it to an extreme. You can become too isolated, shutting out loved ones and friends. Express yourself a little bit more, and you’ll be surprised where it takes you!

What Is Your Life Path Number?

Mama Kelly:

Your Life Path Number is 5

Your purpose in life is to life freely and collect experiences.You love life – new adventures, new people, new ideas. You are very curious, and you crave novelty in all forms. You tend to make friends easily, and you enjoy the company of all types of people.In love, you are fun and even a bit intoxicating. But you won’t stick around for long. You are impulsive and spontaneous – which sometimes leads you to do things you regret. Sometimes you can be overindulgent with food, sex, or drugs. You have many talents, so many that you are often scattered and unfocused.

What Is Your Life Path Number?

Written by Lady RoseTags:blog things

I have been spending the last few days fighting off what I hoped was just a bad allergy flare up. By yesterday I had a hunch that it was turning into a full fledged sinus infection so I came home from work dosed myself with Nyquil and tried to sleep it off. I slept from about 2 till 6pm and unfortunately woke up feeling worse.  Ate dinner had some ice cream and went back to bed around midnight.

Between the nap throwing off my sleep cycle and my throat feeling like a porcupine had taken up residence in it I was only able to sleep on and off all night. As soon as my Chloraseptic throat spray would wear off I would wake up and have to spray again. On the bright side after a hot cup of tea (thank you Hubby) my throat feels a lot better but I still feel punky so today I am surfing the couch.

The first thing I did this morning – before even having my tea – was to make a batch of stuffed peppers (and a mini meatloaf with the leftover meat for the 6-year-old who hates peppers) so I can just preheat the oven and throw in the pan later on (or maybe someone else can do it???).

Unfortunately, this morning also brought some bad news to the household. A couple who have been friends of my dad (and my late mom) since they were all teenagers (in fact I believe that they set up my parents) lost their granddaughter last night. She had been fighting leukemia with both chemo and radiation and had been given a very good chance at beating it (85%). She had been doing quite well and had even gone out for the day with them just last week. Unfortunately her most recent chemo treatment seems to have been the straw that broke the camel’s back in that her heart just gave out.

She was only 18. I can’t even imagine the grief they are going through. To outlive a grandchild. To lose them in what should have been the happiest time of their lives. Needless to say my heart is bleeding for them.

On another note ….

my wedding anniversary is tomorrow. We will have been married for 12 years. And in June we will see the anniversay of the night we met (21 years ago). Originally we had planned to go out for a meal and to a movie (with PopPop watching the kiddy-poos) but the way I feel today I’m thinking of holding off until I feel well enough to actually enjoy it. LOL

Our other plans involve taking advantage of a “free hotel stay” coupon down in Atlantic City and spending a couple of days without the children. But we want to hold off until they are done with school so all PopPop has to worry about is getting them to and from day camp and not homework and so forth.

Our rental property is almost done. And my dad has done most of the work as he likes to remind me when he catches me alone. I just adore being lectured as if I am 16 years old instead of 36. Though in all honesty I think he is more annoyed at my hubby than he is at me. At least it is almost over and as of June 1st we will have a paying tenant in there again … only $15K later between all the unpaid rent and the damages. At this point there is still a good amount to get done:

• the upstairs toilet apparently had a leak so a portion of the floor has to be replaced and all the tile has to be redone — AAAAAAAAAA
• we still have to do things like wipe down a few cabinets and clean the oven
• replace the vent covers
• have a new downstairs carpet installed on Tuesday morning
• do a basic surface wipe down, windows etc.

Hubby himself is out today getting a tattoo. I’m calling it his anniversary gift so I don’t get too frazzled about the “unnecessary expense” right now. Plus I know that he needs an emotional boost. And I’m sure it will come out gorgeous!

Blessings

Mama Kelly

Written by Mama KellyTags:life

I took off work on Friday as PrincessNibbles’ Kindergarten was having a “Mother’s Day Tea”. We mommies were only there for about an hour but we were fed cookies (brought in by said mommies) and punch, given presents and sang to. It was very very sweet.

She also had a playdate after school that day and so was off seeing a movie, playing, and having dinner with her friend’s family so we took my eldest out for burgers and then to Barnes and Noble where we picked her up a new “how to draw manga” book and a sketchbook for her practice.

She seems to have some natural talent in art, and if nothing else a love of it, so we want to encourage her as much as possible.

Today the main points of interest was going to Sam’s Club (thrilling I know), making sausage and peppers, and hubby setting an appointment for a custom tattoo based on the Forgotten Realms character Drizzt Do’Urden.  Drizzt is a dark elf who has rejected his gods his people and his heritage and instead becomes a goddess-worshipping ranger.

I can’t wait to see how it turns out!

Blessings, Mama Kelly

Written by Mama KellyTags:family

It’s kinda of an odd time for me right now emotionally — lots of fun things going on but at the same time feeling like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.

When I started blogging I was very excited and couldn’t wait to write and be creative. When I started my diet the first of this month I was excited and determined to get on track and stick with it. My plan was (still is) to take charge of my health, claim my life back and find more ways to enjoy living (and get over the depression and health problems). I am at my best when I have goals and projects to work on, especially when I can work on them with my good friend MamaKelly. I really really really want to do so many things and enjoy every minute of it.

But for the past several days, I don’t know why, I just feel mostly numb and not able to conjure up much energy, creativity or focus about anything.

You know how it is — when you have great plans, something always happens to throw a monkey wrench into it. It’s like the universe is just holding it’s breath waiting for you to step out and try something fun or enjoy yourself, and then it swings at you with a big 2×4 and knocks you down. I’ve learned over the past 50 years to duck and can sometimes just get by with a slight scrape from a swing. But other times, there just isn’t any where to duck and it clobbers you full force.

I guess I’m sorta waiting to see how all this plays out. I made the effort and took some steps to reclaim my life, energy and creativity — and now the universe is swinging and I have to wait and see if that swing connects or just swooshes by.

I am dealing with medical stuff and have four more appointments ahead of me already scheduled, plus a few other appointments I haven’t had the energy or time to make. Work is over the top stressful and hectic and made worse by the fact that I have to use what little vacation time I have for doctor appointments and makes the work on the days I’m there piled higher then usual because of the missed days. I have almost every weekend filled with stuff I have to do for the next few weeks – like my duaghter’s birthday parties (one with my family and the other a sleep over with a few friends), getting her off to karate camp in early June, etc. So I can’t even get much time to myself to recouperate on the weekends.

Most of the weekend stuff is actually fun and I want to be able to enjoy it — its just with the pain I’m in and the exhaustion it makes even fun stuff difficult. Fro example – we have a family trip to Washington D.C. scheduled the end of June — but instead of looking forward to it — I’m dreading it — I have no clue how I’m going to be able to walk around, and work is going to go nuts if I take the time off because I’m taking off for doctor appointments — and they specifically said NO time off for the next few months for any one because of some big project they have. But the trip was arranged months ago and my husband is so looking forward to it (and it can’t be rescheduled — because of the scheduled tour at the White House).

The pain in my heel still makes walking a nightmare, so I can’t get around much and the fact that the diet is NOT working at all, well I just want to curl up some where and pull the covers over my head and not come out.

The one thing the doctor says they can’t do anything about is my heel, but she is driving me crazy with everything else especially the heart tests and blood pressure checks. How about they fix the heel and I bet my blood pressure goes down!

Anyway, that’s enough wallowing. Basically it’s been taking all my energy just to get through each day and stay focused on my goals. I will blog and be creative when I can. I’m a fighter so I know I’ll get through this rough spot.

I just need to focus on all the great things in my life too — my hubby and daughter and great friends. I have a wonderful Mother’s Day planned too — a whole day of watching Monk on tv (its a marathon with 11 episodes!); plus Charmed at night (next to the last episode). I am going to have air popped popcorn (200 calories), roasted califlower (250 calories), and a 6″ subway sandwich (290 calories) – so I’ll be a within my daily calorie limit of 800, but will feel like I have had a treat. I may even get back to work on some of the crochet projects I have going on.

So onward to the see what the future holds.

Bright blessings, Lady Rose

Quote for the day:
“The Future belongs to those Who believe In the beauty of their dreams.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

Written by Lady RoseTags:about Lady Rose, depression, health

I took the plunge and actually planted some plants this weekend.  When I first got the urge I had big plans, but the actual trip to the garden center was a bit overwhelming, so I only purcheased 7 herb plants (lots of plants, plant food, and soil). I think I might try some strawberry plants in a strawberry jar too, but I’ll wait and see how next weekend goes (this strawberry kit looked nice Complete Strawberry Growing Kit: Garden Stacker Planter.

I also repotted the plants from a gift basket I got from the office (for support staff appreciation day). There were 8 plants all together in the basket – so the window in front of my living room now looks like a mini jungle. It’s so cool.

I have only had one plant live in my whole life. It got a brand new huge pot of its own this weekend. This plant is some kind of tropical plant (that’s all the little stick says) and has been with me for years (at least 12 or more).

The herbs I got are: rosemary, lavender, sage, (these three are in a window sill planter) and thyme, chives, peppermint, peppermint (in there own individual pots since they need room to expand.
I decided to not get the basil, dill, and oregano because they required a bit more care and only lasted a year. If the one’s from this year survive, then I’ll add the other three next year.

All the information on the herb care was a bit overwhelming, but the woman at the garden center was very nice and recommended The Rutgers University Master Gardeners site for information so I wouldn’t have to write everything down right there at the store.

My daughter enjoyed helping with everything and we are looking forward to enjoying our fresh herbs in the kitchen. It was a great feeling to be outside and actually planting and also having the lovely houseplants nicely arranged in the living room. I ended up sore and tired, but it was worth it. Now I just need to remember to water them and hopefully they will live.

Bright blessings, Lady Rose

Recommended reading:
Herbal Remedies in Pots.
The Potted Herb.
Crops in Pots.
Pots in the Garden: Expert Design and Planting.

Written by Lady RoseTags:gardening, herbs