I remember about 30 years ago or so, when I was a young witch and just starting out, our Priestess required us to memorize every line. There were no 3×5 cards or handouts allowed inside her sacred space. We studied hard and long to commit each sacred word to memory, to insure that each syllable we uttered inside the sacred space was imprinted on our brain cells.

When the time came, about a decade or so later, for me to have my own circle, I felt that for the young ones it would be ok to have the occasional 3×5 card or notes tucked away just in case they were needed. But for myself, I still required that every word only be uttered from memory, unless it was a brand new ritual. But the ritual and invocations we used to create our sacred space were the same for all our circles, so this was not a terribly difficult task, after all we used them over and over and over again.

One fine night, with the full moon blazing in the sky we gathered in our sacred space. We were a small group and each person was assigned to invoke one of the directions starting with the East. I was the Priestess for the circle. When it was time to invoke the North, I stepped up to the northern edge of the circle. My feet firmly planted on Mother Earth, my arms raised to the stars, inhaling deeping to gather the power…

***sound of crickets in the silence***

I took another deep, cleansing breath….

***sound of crickets in the silence***

While this is happening Mama Kelly and the other members of the circle are focusing on the wonderful circle energy that is gathering, thinking to themselves that their Priestess must be really drawing down some powerful energy on this night.

Another deep, cleansing breath….

***sound of crickets in the silence***

Then I lean over slightly towards Mama Kelly and say

“pssst….what’s the line?”

With a few giggles, North was invoked and with laughter the circle was raised. And from that night forward sacred 3×5 cards and notes were allowed in the circle for every one, including me.

Bright blessings, Lady Rose

Written by Lady RoseTags:about us, funny story

Monday Memories – Finding My Religion – My Journey to Wicca

Monday Memories: Did I ever tell you about How I discovered Wicca?

• When I was young – I can remember getting books via Scholastic Books on ESP, Mythology and so on. In the 70s Scholastic books were pretty darn cool.

• By the time I was in junior high I was taking part in the usual sleep-over games such as “light as a feather” though we never had the effects they did in the movies LOL

• During my high school years a good friend gave me my first tarot deck and I started reading books on spells and magick including a book by Scott Cunningham that was first published in 1987

• However it was not until I went to college that things really changed for me. Up until that point I had tried to meld my increasing interest in witchcraft with my Roman Catholic upbringing. One night I went to the campus library and my search for new reading related to spellcraft found me, instead, with a book in my hand which taught me that there was a religion associated with the beliefs I was forming, Witchcraft the Old Religion, I will always thank Dr. Martello for writing that book and helping me find my way “home”. After that I gobbled any book I could get my little hands on
• So now I knew what I was .. I had a faith to call my own but I was still a Witch alone. I heard, through the grapevine that a Wiccan Priestess was coming to give a lecture on campus and I was able to ask some questions, get some answers, and realize I wasn’t a freak. Little did I know that I would still be friends with that woman today (yup it was Lady Rose).
• By the following school year I came across a “Pagan Study Group”, met a man I almost married, and found my way through him to a coven I was happily part of for a few years. A coven, btw, led by none other than the infamous Lady Rose. I was with this group about 4 years – long enough to receive my initiations – before it disbanded. When I had my first degree initiation I received a pendant much like
  
• The coven’s death came slowly and painfully. Romantic relationships ended – including one marriage. My own realtionship ended and I wound up with a bad case of broken heart. Friendships dissolved – some after 20 years. In the end we were all literally “walking wounded” and no amount of time alone could heal the hurts we had each suffered.  In fact, the only person I am still connected to from that time is my former Priestess and probably my dearest friend Lady Rose
• Since then? Primarily I am again, a Witch alone … but I do hope to one day have a coven-family again. 

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Written by Mama KellyTags:memories, wicca

Going through old emails that I had sent to Mama Kelly over the years, I came across one that brought back memories of a very exciting and happy time when we found our new house and planning a vacation.

Excerpt from Email – dated: July 9, 2002

We’re going to Disney World next week (July 18 to 24) as we got a great deal on travel and room cause we’re going with AngelGirl’s Karate school (its the world championship being held near Disney). I enrolled AngelGirl in art camp this summer (she begged to be able to go — she is an artist after all she said hehehe) its expensive but worth it. She enjoys it and she was really tired of her usual “day care” and she didnt want to do most of what they do over summer (swimming and Six Flags). I have her in art camp this week and the three weeks after our vacation. For the last two weeks in August either my mom or my sister D will watch her for a couple days.So much has happened in the past couple months (lots of it good news too) – I’ll try to sum up briefly.

We’re all doing pretty good here

Our old house sold the end of April – we’re renting month to month right now from the “new owners”.

We finally got a great house (great neighborhood, good schools) – we close at the end of Sept., it was a bargain too – about 50K less than other houses in the neighborhood.

S. my agent is a long time friend of my mom’s and through the torture of house shopping her and I have become great friends, (and it was torture – we couldn’t find anything and house prices were spiraling out of control with hours the bids were going 30k to 40k over asking prices and there was no way we could compete).

The house we wound up bying is actually the one that S. had bought for her sister and renovated totally. Well now her sister is getting divorced and neither the sister or soon to be ex-husband can keep the house soooooo S. is selling it to us!

I am just unbelievably excited! Not only is everything recently renovated BUT I get to pick colors for all new paint and carpet ! The appliances are new (she is even putting in the kind of refrigerator I want with ice maker in door !! hehehe), heat and electric are new, windows are new, (plus she is getting a new front door with glass I like too), and the roof is only 12 yrs old.

It has four bedrooms:  two are on the second floor and one of them is so HUGE that we will probably use it as a second family room. The fact that its on second floor means that we can keep toys, tv, etc up there and not have to worry about a mess downstairs that much. The other small bedroom on second floor i’ll probably use for ME massage and witchy things)

On the first floor there are the other 2 bedrooms, 1 1/2 baths, living room, dining room, small kitchen, a HUGE family room with a big wonderful fireplace, and nice laundry room.

There is also a garage that was converted into another room – (but i’m not sure yet what i want either the room or make it back into a garage currently its paneled and has a bar in it, probably use it for storage for awhile till things are cleared out and set up in house) and a great patio with a double fish pond (lights up at night, has about 19 gold fish, cool plants and fountian bubbly things).

The backyard is just the right size and fenced in, big enough to play, some trees, still room for a pool (above ground if we can save up some day), and some gardening, and a small but nice front yard with a few tress also.

I cant tell you how excited I am

I just day dream constantly about it hehehe

We had a yard sale this weekend. We only made $50 and none of the baby stuff sold (like new car seat and unused crib set) but not many people came but at least it forced us to accomplish the tasks of getting things sorted and boxed.

It feels really good though to be getting rid of all this junk I’m so sick of carrying it around. I had to laugh when I sold my plaster budha cone incense burner for 75 cents, I was like “there goes my 70′s years” hehehe. Why I still had it I have no idea. lol

I also found some nice things too that had gotten buried away. I’m putting the good things in one large plastic tub with a lid for the house like 2 stained glass suncatcher pieces – moon/star and a triple goddess symbol. I bought them ages ago at one of the cons and never put them up in this place, but now I’ll a home I want to decorate. I still can’t believe that I get “my own room” for all my stuff to be out and to set up an altar.

It will be so nice to finally have a nice home that I have friends over again. I can’t wait to sit on the patio and sip lemonade in the evening or coffee in the morning.

Bright Blessings, Lady Rose

Written by Lady RoseTags:memories, new house, vacation

I came across a comment in blog today which first made me laughand then reminded me of a bad spell I had when Princess Nibbles was a newborn.

Mom-101 said
“If you are thinking about SIDS, you’re all but convinced that your baby is turning blue while you lie there and talk yourself out of checking on him”"

My youngest is here by way of nothing less than a miracle. I thank my late mother who had to have been literally barring the way to the other side so that my daughter would stay here with me.

I had a miscarriage in 1997, 25 days before we lost my mom to terminal pancreatic cancer. I never told her, but always “joked” that she got to the other side, found out, and was instantly furious with me for lying to her.

2 years later, to the day (of the miscarriage), we found ourselves going to the hospital again. This time I was 35 weeks pregnant and the meds I had been on for the past 3 weeks to stop pre-term labor were no longer working.

After about a day and a half of labor (some with an epidural, some without) I was still only at 3cm. A round of pitocin was halted almost as soon as it was started as the baby’s heartrate was fluctuating badly.

It was determined that a C-section was called for.

Upon opening me up it was found that I had had a silent abruption. My amniotic fluid was bloody and the baby was born limp, blue, and apparently lifeless with an APGAR score of 1 (out of 10).

Long story short, she came through it all very well and was discharged at 8 days old. She suffered no delays or problems as a result of her difficult entry into the world. For which I am eternally grateful.

I, however, was a wreck until she was a year old. Why? Every time I would need to go in to get her up in the morning or after a nap I was convinced that I would find her dead. I would literally wait outside her door listening until I could hear her make a sound.

All I would need to hear was the rustle of a blanket, a soft sigh, or a rattle shaking. But I had to hear something or I was frozen outside her door. Luckily it usually didn’t take long to hear the sound I was waiting for. But, while I waited, I could clearly see her in my mind’s eye still and cold and blue.

Looking back I realize of course that I needed help. I knew that I wasn’t being rational. I knew it was “all in my head”. But I couldn’t stop. Gradually, it eased. In part (I guess) because the event that triggered all of this became a more distant memory as the memories of her life took over. But, also in part because as she got older I could more easily shush that little voice that whispered to me about SIDS.

The sad part is that I didn’t need to go through it. If I had spoken up I could’ve been put on meds or been given therapy to help me move past my fear and more fully enjoy her infancy.

But, I was ashamed. I was ashamed of my behavior. I was ashamed at being so irrational. I found myself unable to tell friends or family. I couldn’t admit it to my doctor or even my husband.

I share this memory, while not a happy one, in hopes that maybe someone will read it and recognise that they or someone they love may need help. That it’s okay. That it isn’t something to be ashamed of.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

Links to other Monday Memories

Shelli

Lynda

Norma

Ocean Lady

Katherine

Beckie

Ladybug

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Written by Mama KellyTags:memories