We are all still here, in spite of another dose of high-pitched drama. My nerves are frayed, in spite of my new pal Prozac, and sleep is as unrefreshing as always. In fact, after spending the entire morning at work nodding off in-between phone calls I left early, came home, and crawled into bed. My “cover story” with Mr Grumpy is that I had one of my bad headaches, took meds, and lay down for a bit. Not much of a stretch since later will probably find me taking said medications so that I can sleep in spite of my on-and-off nap.

Sad isn’t it? That at the age of 40 I am still accountable to my father for my work, sleep, and yes even my eating habits. Wait until he finds out that I need to go on cholesterol-lowering medication!!! But, I digress.

The home situation is at a stand-still and much of what is going on falls into the category of not fit for blog fodder. In fact, the bulk of it isn’t really discussed outside the home at all, unless we happen to be at the therapist’s office.

Work is the same, and while the official conversation has yet to occur I am well aware that my head is on the chopping block in terms of a pay cut. Granted, they could be “nice” and give me a warning and more time to get my stats up to their arbitrary levels, but my company is rarely nice, even more rarely fair, and is frankly most often dishonest and unrealistic.

But, again, I digress.

The weekend actually wound up being fairly productive.

Friday Gamer Dude and I had blood drawn at the Doctor’s office, went out for breakfast, and then had an hour long, fairly unproductive I.E.P. meeting at Miss Artistic’s school. I did the food shopping, ran Princess Nature over to Tae Kwon Do (where she participated in three classes in a row) and made a thoroughly unhealthy and in no way to be considered “from scratch” kind of meal.

I spent the bulk of Saturday (with Princess Nature’s help) tearing the girls’ room apart and putting it all back together. Translation …. every drawer, shelf, and piece of clothing was handled, sorted, and many many things where thrown away. And while I feel guilty about my additions to already overburdened landfills I am happy to have 3 huge lawn and leaf bags less clutter in my house.

When I wasn’t folding and hanging clothing or shaking my head at the things I found in drawers, and at the bottom of their closet I was cooking. This week we are alternating between two dishes (as opposed to my usual three). I made a monster-sized batch of my family’s recipe for Cream of Tomato Soup. I made so much that despite giving some away, and having for dinner a total of 3 times already I have no choice but to freeze a bunch of it. I also made a double batch of BBQ ribs and decided (yet again) that I need to find a really good (and cheap) recipe for BBQ sauce that doesn’t have any type of smoke flavor in it as I am tired of having to pay for the stuff.

Sunday, I took the girls out for a sharing of appetizers at the local Japanese restaurant and then to Walmart where I picked up some things we needed (itty bitty bras and underwear), some stuff so cheap I couldn’t pass up (4 Tshirts for $1 each by Miley Cyrus that are British themed and will be perfect as “disposable clothing” for summer camp) and the inevitable stuff I was either pestered or suckered into buying.

Tonight is belt testing at Tae Kwon Do and I am looking forward to going, watching, leaving, and then spending some quality time with my couch and my Hubby, though not necessarily in that order.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

Written by Mama KellyTags:family, kids, life

Princess Nibbles’ is doing alright overall.  She’s not enjoying school as much this year as she’s not too fond of her teacher, or more accurately is convinced that her teacher is not all that fond of her.  Luckily I have parent teacher conferences for her in a couple of weeks and I plan to get to the bottom of it (nicely, subtly …  I promise)

Additionally I think she’s a little overwhelmed this year with the combination of school, the gifted program, flute, and Taekwondo (especially as we go three times a week now).  But, she’s determined to do it all and while she continues to enjoy everything and keeps her grades up all we can do is let her try.

At the same time we have to watch her a bit because she tries to be perfect even though we encourage her to not be so hard on herself all the time.

On another note, she is determined to get an American Girl doll one way or another, come hell or high water, by hook or by crook, even if she has to save up the money herself.

Now don’t spoil the surprise, but odds are we will get her the one she wants for Yule/Xmas (especially as I talked her down off the ledge of wanting the even more expensive My Twinn doll with the lure of knock off costumes and accessories on Etsy).

I even promised her that once she saves up enough for her doll (cough, cough, wink wink) that I will teach her how to crochet and we will make stuff for her.

In case you’re curious we’ve settled on the Julie doll, mainly due to her hippie wardrobe and long (very long) blonde hair, both of which Princess Nibbles approved of.

My main concern, aside from the frightening expense (somewhat offset by the fact that I know their dolls’ quality), is that I know how fleeting this adoration will last being as that she’s just turned 10.

Oh well.  When I think about how much money I’ve wasted at the holidays each year on gifts that were used a couple of times (or only once) before finding a home in the bottom of a toy box, a doll she’ll adore for a year or two probably isn’t all that bad a deal.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

Written by Mama KellyTags:American Girl, children, Christmas

It’s been a long week.

Miss Artistic is having a rough time of it.  Not only is her depression in a spike again (related to some new and disturbing revelations that trace back to the days she was missing 2 years ago) but we are again, as we are each and every bloody year, dealing with poor academic performance due to late or simply missing homework assignments, projects, and whatnot.

I had a meeting last week with her guidance counselor and then this week were the parent-teacher conferences which, for the most part, were one just like another.  How bright and sweet and creative, etc. they think she is and how frustrated each and every one of them is over her inability and unwillingness to get it together so she can reach her true potential.

Now I am not trying to make it seem like she can just start off next marking period and get straight A’s (though she is academically capable of it) but I’d like to see her trying a little harder than she is.

I’d also like to see her lose the attitude – the lovely teenage one that involves eye-rolling, huffs, sighs, and exclamations of everything from “so?” and “why do you care?” to my all time favorite “get over it!.”

On the bright side …

Both girls tested for their next level in Taekwondo and are the proud owners of their high blue belts.

We have a function this weekend with our fellow school families which should be a lot of fun (although much too crowded for my taste) especially as there are raffles (I splurged on 28 tickets over the past month) and demos by the Masters.  The girls’ main instructor is supposedly going to be breaking blocks of concrete.

Hope you each have a fun weekend.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

PS my laptop is still down, but it is next in line for a trip to the repair shop once the girls’ machine comes home, thus postings will be irregular at best

Written by Mama KellyTags:parenting, school, teenagers

Well what can I say? It’s been relatively busy here in Mama Kelly Land. With back-to-school and the increased stress at work and a long holiday weekend I even failed to do my weekly Blogging of Blessings. And so today’s post is part update, part gratitude, and part ramble.

Miss Artistic had high school orientation this week. So far she likes her teachers, has friends in her classes, has people to eat lunch with, and is talking about joining extra-curricular activities – something we’ve been trying to get her to do all through middle school to no avail. We keep talking about high school being a fresh start, a chance to be who she wants to be, and to leave the past (and the mistakes and pain in it) behind her.

Princess Nibbles couldn’t wait for school and is so far not disappointed. She got the teacher she had hoped to get, her gifted program resumes this week, and best of all, she gets to sign up for band tomorrow. She will be taking the flute – mainly because we still have my old flute (refurbished of course) – and I look forward to relearning it myself as I help her in her lessons.

Miss Artistic spent the holiday weekend with one of her BFF’s and family camping. As of this writing she is probably on the way home from her first experience truly roughing it. This is her first experience with no showers, no flush toilets, and eating/drinking only what can be carried in to a campsite. I am curious to see what she thought of it.

Princess Nibbles spent the holiday weekend home with us. As of this writing she is out on her bike enjoying the last breath of summer. She was a true delight all weekend. Not only did she and I have lots of quality time (and hopefully more to come) but she was a huge help to me.

Insofar as quality time we watched The Sound of Music (in three sittings) which was enjoyed thoroughly, Bedknobs and Broomsticks which was not a hit, as well as episodes of Jon & Kate Plus Eight and one of those Cake Challenge on FoodTV. We have a date later today to play a round (or two or three) of 500 Rummy.

We took a trip Sunday to a local zoo and had fun feeding goats and deer by hand and tossing popcorn to anyone who was interested. Toward the end of that visit we were stalked by a squirrel (one of my favorite animals) who was very annoyed at our lack of peanuts. He made us feel so guilty that Gamer Dude wouldn’t rest until he found an abandoned one and then hand fed it to our little friend.

Mr Grumpy has been slowly replacing the windows in the house. He buys the windows as he can afford them and does all the labor himself. This weekend it was time to hit the girls’ room. Saturday morning he removed the moldings and then lectured me about the state of their room.

To some degree the lecture was deserved (though it should have been directed at the kids and not me) and so my 9-year-old and I spent the rest of the day cleaning. Yes you read that right … the …. rest …. of …. the …. day. Now granted, some of the problem is two girls sharing a room that is too small to fit them, their furniture, their clothes, and all their stuff. However, the bulk of the problem is that one of those girls is a teenager … and, well, frankly … a total slob.

I will not go into how many bags of garbage I got rid of. I will not discuss how big the laundry pile is after I found the stash of dirty clothes. I will not mention the food wrappers.  I will not let myself remember the things that were found behind furniture. Let me simply say that the room is about as clean as I can get it until we divide the furniture between them and get them into separate rooms – probably sometime in November – as bulk pick-up is in mid-October.

Today I am grateful for getting so much accomplished. I am grateful for food enough to feed my family. I am grateful for the school year getting off to a good start. I am grateful to have a job, even one I hate. I am grateful that I have the opportunity to earn commission. I am grateful for catching up on some sleep, even though it is still broken. I am grateful for having peace and rest these past 3 days.

I wish you all blessings both large and small.

Mama Kelly

Written by Mama KellyTags:family, gratitude, life, update

Thank you to the wonderful MrsB for posting this on her blog, which in turn reminded me to post it on mine

Putting out a call to help once again! If you haven’t heard, our own wonderful Anne Johnson is teaching in a classroom that is sadly lacking in books for the male students.

1. Anything a male reader ages 12-20 would like: sci fi, horror, sports, war. War books should be about current or recent conflicts, no older than Vietnam.

2. Twilight or any of its sequels.

3. “His Dark Materials” trilogy, esp. The Golden Compass.

4. The Hobbit

Also, there’s not one single “Harry Potter” title in the room. And a shocking lack of nonfiction.

If you think you can help out in some way, head over to The Gods are Bored, and talk to Anne!

Written by Mama Kelly

OK so this week’s Pagan Video Tuesday post is not only late but not all that Pagan in flavor.  But, let me explain.  My oldest Miss Artistic starts high school tomorrow.  As a result I keep finding myself flashing on that time period in my own life.  Who my friends were and what I was “into” and what music I was in love with at the time.

This is particularly nostalgic as she is attending the school (one of a total of three high schools I wound up attending) I graduated from.  So as of tomorrow she will be walking halls that I once walked.  Now granted, 20+ years later, the school is larger than it once was and I doubt I’ll remember much of the “landmarks” of it when its time for back-to-school night in a couple of weeks, but still I can’t help but feel more deeply connected to this moment in her life than I might otherwise.

Anyway … I thought for this week I’d share some of the top 100 hits if 1983, the year that found me entering my own high school career (albeit at a different school in a different state).  And while I never settled on one particular genre of music (and frankly never have) these are the ones off the list that I can most vividly remember singing along to (at that age it would’ve been in home in Staten Island, in the basement, at the top of my lungs).

At her age I was a voracious reader and had already read a number of titles that I can only describe as New Age – thanks to the wonders of Scholastic Books (who are not nearly as progressive I guess as they once were) and had “played around” with seances and the whole “light as a feather” thing more times than I could count. By the end of my 2nd year of high school I was already reading tarot cards and had met the boy who would grow up into the man I would one day marry.

As a woman who remembers that time of her life I know that these next years are the formation of the woman she will become. I know that these next years are where she discovers her own identity, her goals, her dreams, her deepest desires. I am happy for her, more than I can say. While not all of high school was easy for me … while I never really found a clique to belong to (larger than an intimate circle of friends) until my Senior year when I fell into the whole choir/band/drama mix … it sure beat the heck of of Junior High and, especially with the ability to reconnect to friend from that period through Facebook I find I remember it fondly overall.

But, as a parent (especially with all we have been through) all I can do is look at her and see that my little girl is gone forever, replaced by a beautiful young woman who’s had a really rough time in Junior High, and hope and pray (and plead and beg) that the next 4 years are easier for her than the last 3 were.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

Written by Mama KellyTags:80's, daughter, high school, music, parenting, video

I truly cannot believe that the summer is mainly behind us.  Where did the weeks go?

Unlike a couple of years ago when we took our first real family vacation and traveled to Vermont we lacked not only the money to afford a trip this year, but also lacked the money to afford my taking a week off without pay (and then paying for my insurance deductible out of pocket as well).

I had hoped to do more in the way of day trips.  I had hoped to maybe do a weekend trip somewhere. But time and money seemed to constantly be lacking.

I had planned to start going to the library twice a month and had had every intention of getting the girls into separate rooms.  What can I say, the spirit was willing but the flesh was oh so very weak.

So what did we do?

Princess Nibbles spent 7 weeks at the township run day camp. She had fun overall, but there were a lot of bored days.

Miss Artistic started out with a job, one from which she was fired 2 weeks to the day of starting.  In part this was because she wasn’t really ready to have a job, but mostly this was due to her working for MY employer which didn’t do much in the way of training, anything in the way of coaching, and even less in the way of giving her a fair shake.

The kids kept up with their Taekwondo, earning their high green belts in late June and their Blue belts 2 months later.  Miss Artistic did her summer reading and the related project.

There were sleep-overs and movie nights, but nothing exciting.

But, I am not going to focus on my disappointment.

I am going to look instead at the blessing of the new school year and the fresh start that it represents.  I am working on finding the good in my new position at work and hoping (still) for other things to fall into place as well.

I am going to resume working on getting the girls into separate rooms (at this point just waiting for cooler weather).

I am going to find time, somewhere in my schedule, to write.  Not just here on the blog but for myself .. for goals I have and hope to see come to fruition.

I am going to keep a promise to Gamer Dude and go to my doctor(s), catch up on my preventative care, address some concerns, and take better care of myself.

I am going to try very hard to light a fire in my soul and live the life I want to live as much as possible each and every day.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

Written by Mama KellyTags:family, life

Today I am grateful for an extra $80 in my paycheck this past Friday, which correlates to 2 days work on the newest project that my employer has assigned me to.  I am even more grateful for another $40 they owe me from the previous project and an anticipated $200 from last week’s work.  I have not had access to any kind of extra money at work since January so it is nice to see a more livable wage again.

Today I am grateful for being just about done getting the kids ready for school (I still need hand sanitizer, erasers, and loose leaf).  I am grateful for catching a few deals, thanks to coupons and gift cards.  One example is my picking up 5 pairs of sneakers for $42 (my girls prefer to have a few pairs of cheap sneakers to match with outfits as opposed to 1 better pair of sneakers).

Today I am grateful for going to the same hair dresser for over 15 years.  She gave Miss Artistic her first hair cut, her first eyebrow waxing, and her first highlights.  Today she cut off more than 10″ of my elder daughter’s hair, gave her a real cute inverse angle cut, low lights and two shades of highlights, and charged me much less than she should have.

Today I am grateful that school is almost in session.  Princess Nibbles can’t wait any longer (especially as she got the teacher she had wished for all year) and the anticipation for Miss Artistic is much worse than the reality will be.  She goes back for 2.5 hours on Wednesday for Freshman orientation and then they both go back on Thursday.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

Written by Mama KellyTags:back to school, kids

Today I am grateful for a nice weekend. Filled with rest and laughter. Filled with the opportunity to be away from my telemarketing job. And still a family viewing of Coraline to look forward to this evening.

Today I am grateful that things are improving a bit at work.  Granted I still hate my job. But, we are now pitching a different product.  One that I don’t feel so morally ambiguous about and one that I feel has a higher earning potential.  Since both programs earned me commission on top of my hourly I can illustrate that easily by telling you that I earned $40 on the first program in 8 days and $80 in 2 days on the new program.

Today I am grateful for Taekwondo. Miss Artistic had talked about quitting. Her concerns were addressed by the couple who run the school, she was encouraged, and not only did she decide to continue but both she, and Princess Nibbles, rocked their belt testing. I am now the proud parent of two blue belts.

Today I am grateful for our trip to the mall. Granted I spent more than I meant to (much more unfortunately*), but Princess Nibbles wanted a “new look” for 4th grade – a look that is a blend of hippie and rocker with further touches of punk and schoolgirl and preppy. I managed to pick up a really great sale price on a dress she’ll wear for the holidays, and of course the requisite socks, panties, and sports (read training) bras.

Today I am grateful for Miss Artistic’s friend “S”. I am grateful to her parents who welcomed my daughter to not just 1 but 2 overnights. I am grateful to having “S’s” company at belt testing and the mall. It’s so nice when you love your kids’ friends.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

* Something I can “make up” by eating out of the freezer and pantry next weekend instead of doing a big food shopping.

Written by Mama Kelly

Well tonight is the night.  The big 8th grade dance.  Months of anticipation, weeks of anxiety related to the dress situation (read more).  Money spent on the dress, on alterations, on accessories, on a manicure and an up-do.  All of this heartache and expense for a three hour long dance that odds are she will only remember a few moments of when she is my age.

But, you know what?  If she has a good time tonight and comes home happy it will all have been worth it.

Pictures will have to wait as with my digital camera on the blink I have to reply on disposable cameras.  But I am hoping to have Gamer Dude drop off the film while I am off on my pre-birthday adventure on Saturday so that Sunday I can scan a couple to share with you all.

I am still not 100%, nearly 4 weeks after originally coming down with an upper respiratory infection.  I am better than I was, but if things don’t dry up/clear up soon I’m probably looking at another sinus infection hitting on the heels of this one.  I am hoping that I am not doing too much sniffing and snorting tomorrow as I will be off on the grounds of what looks to be a glorious herb farm up in nothern NJ.

This was all Lady Rose’s planning, and my friend “M2″ is coming along to share the day not only because I love her but so that I can be home when Miss Artistic returns home from her dance tonight and I don’t have to have Gamer Dude pull a 1.5 round trip twice in the same day.

We are going to be going to Well Sweep Farm for their Spring open house which includes tours and lectures and granted this is more my cup of tea than it is M2’s (she must really love me back to be willing to sibject herself to not only witchiness, but sunshine and the potential for bugs) or even Lady Rose’s.  Herbalism is *my* love.

Going to this event, touring this farm and coming home with herb seedlings will be a step toward living more as a Witch in my outer life and perhaps taking a few timid steps out of the broom closet.  This step is being followed up on Sunday evening by doing ritual simultaneously with a collection of old friends from my Catholic high school days.  We will all be using rocks from the same yard as our symbols for earth.  We wil all be burning the same incense.  We will all be calling the quarters with the same words.  We will all be working toward the same end.

All in all an exciting weekend!!

Hope yours is wonderful

Mama Kelly

Written by Mama Kelly