“Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don’t let show”
- Lean on Me, Bill Withers

I am so behind.

On my clutter control.
On my bill paying.
On my blogging.
On visits with friends & family.
On plans for turning Blade & Cauldron into a home business.

The summer has gone by in a flash while we deal with Miss Artistic. Her health issues … her mental health issues. Right now she is in an intensive outpatient program. She will continue to be there for at least a month into the school year while they provide an academic component.

This “cushion” of time will give us the opportunity to send a new request to the Superintendent of Schools for out of district placement. And, if we are again denied, have a long sit-down with her present high school to lay out a more aggressive plan to help Miss Artistic have a more successful year. Lady Rose’s husband Teacherman has offered to be our advocate in all of this and I am sorry to say that we will need his help as our district (or so we have been told) is notorious for fighting any request for these kinds of services.

This whole experience has been very humbling in that it is forcing me, us, to accept offers of help. Friends who have offered their time, their energies, their money … to help us help our daughter get well. And while I would offer my own help to any of them in a heartbeat, it is so hard to let go of the voices that speak to me in debasing whispers about what it says about me to need their support. It’s a lesson I’m still working on learning.

Blessings to each of you who has offered your help. To those who have lit candles or simply held us in your thoughts. It means more than I can ever say.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

“If there is a load you have to bear
That you can’t carry
I’m right up the road
I’ll share your load
If you just call me”
- Lean on Me, Bill Withers

Buy it at Amazon – Lean On Me (Glee Cast Version)

Written by Mama KellyTags:depression, family, life, mental illness

Today I am grateful for getting to go check out the Pleasant Valley Lavender Farm today with the family.  We missed the peak season so instead of picking our own we settled for buying some loose lavender buds, some lavender honey, and a beeswax candle.

Today I am grateful for my overnight visit with Lady Rose.  Odds are we won’t get together again until mid to late September so it was nice to have a bit of time with her.

Today I am grateful that while she was here that she did some energy work on me, not once but twice, to try and help me both beat down a nasty headache that I’ve had since Friday and build up my energy stores to better cope with the stress we’re currently under.

Today I am grateful to have food enough to feed my family and to share with friends even when I am too tired to cook any of it.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

Written by Mama KellyTags:blog your blessings sunday, gratitude

Today I am grateful that after not one, but two separate hospital stays, that Miss Artistc is not only home, but with a diagnosis.

Today I am grateful that after investigating obvious answers, and then some really scary possibilities as well, that her diagnosis is nothing more serious than GERD and vasovagal syncope (usually triggered by exertion (think Tae Kwon Do) or coughing (think asthma and acid reflux)).

Today I am grateful that helping her get better involves nothing more than adding a new medication to her regimen and making changes to her diet and lifestyle.

Today I am grateful for having health insurance I can barely afford so that I only have to stress about a little over $1000 in medical bills related to said hospital stays as opposed to the tens of thousands I’d otherwise be paying.

Today I am grateful to have a job that allows me to have such flexibility in my schedule.  While I will have to suffer through the lost pay from the past weeks at least I still have a job to return to.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

Written by Mama KellyTags:blog your blessings sunday, GERD, health, syncope

Well we’re back in the hospital.  A different one this time.  A larger children’s hospital.

She is still stable, but we still lack an explanation for the continued spitting up of blood.

Most of today is going to be filled with Doctors sorting through, having their own people review, & then noodling over all the test results we’ve accumulated so far. And my oh my have we accumulated test results.

From there it will be a matter of deciding what to test for next. And as we’ve ruled out the obvious … that means looking for the statistically less likely culprits.

Thank you as always to all of you who bless us by being there for us …

Thank you for holding us in your thoughts, in your prayers, in your hearts.

Thank you for the candles you light, for the comments you leave.

Brightest blessings to each and every one of you

Mama Kelly

Written by Mama KellyTags:hospital, illness

“I’m melting! melting! Oh, what a world! What a world!”
Wicked Witch of the West, The Wizard of Oz

We’ve been in the midst of a heat wave here in our parts. Today the thermometer on the side of the house read 102 degrees – in the shade! With power and water use advisories in effect we are all simply trying to make do.

We stopped watering the lawn and are beginning to wonder how much we can get for itty bitty little bales of hay.

We are taking shorter and colder showers.

We are keeping blinds and windows closed. We are staying on the first floor. We are using oscillating fans both in place of and to boost the effectiveness of the air conditioner as much as possible.

We’re cooking on the grill, or heating up in the microwave as much as possible to avoid heating up the kitchen.

We are changing into our lightest clothing choices once we are home for the evening.

But, even that isn’t always enough.

When heads begin to throb, or when emotions run just as high as the mercury it is time for a mom to pull something special out of her back pocket.

Tonight I made the girls milkshakes. Its quick and easy and is so soothing when walking into the outside world feels like walking into your oven. Or when a long day at a summer camp that lacks a swimming pool makes your head feel like its going to pop off your neck like a pimple.

Blueberry Milkshakes

2 cups vanilla ice cream
1 cup skim milk
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup frozen blueberries
1-3 tsp extra sweeetner (if needed)
4-6 frozen cherries

Put milk in blender.

Add ice cream in tablespoon fulls.

Add vanilla extract and blend until ice cream is completely incorporated into the milk.

Add blueberries a little at a time, then cherries.

Add extra sugar or other sweetener at this point only if you feel you need it (some batches of cherries/berries are sweeter than others)

Serves two very hot and cranky kids a very hearty serving.

A cool shower, a dose of Advil, and a milkshake later my Princess Nature was back to her smiley summer-girl self. And Miss Artistic got to reap the benefits as well.

Feel free to customize this to meet the needs or tastes of your family. You can replace the ice cream with Greek style yogurt, add a bit more fruit and allow it to take the place of a meal when its simply too hot to think about eating anything more substantial. You can replace the frozen berries with other frozen fruit, or make do with drained canned fruit, or fresh fruit, depending on what you have on hand. Just be sure to toss in a couple of ice cubes to keep your milkshake from turning into more of a smoothie consistency.

Stay cool, stay safe, stay well.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

cross-posted at Blade & Cauldron

Image: Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Written by Mama KellyTags:food, heat wave, milkshake, recipe

Today I am grateful for a mostly restful weekend. I cooked like a fiend on Saturday and slept just awful last night, but overall I feel like my sleep debt is a good bit lower than it was on Friday.

Today I am grateful for feeding my family for another holiday. I have making my own BBQ sauce down to an art form. I made real whipped cream with honey and vanilla extract – which was met with smiles, especially as I let the girls lick the beaters. Neither cost a lot of money, only a little more effort than I might otherwise put into it.

Today I am grateful for going out to see the local fireworks display. The girls really enjoyed it. I really enjoyed it. Its become a lovely family tradition. I am also grateful to have taken a few minutes to sit, along with Gamer Dude, in the back TV room with Mr Grumpy to watch the end of the Boston Pop’s Fireworks Display on the television. Absolutely breathtaking!!

But, today, most of all, I am grateful for my freedom. I may hide in the proverbial broom closet, but I am free to claim my own faith. I may not be able to always speak my mind in my own home, but I can say what I think, and feel, and believe and not worry about being punished or imprisoned for them. Not everyone in the world can say that. I am grateful to all of those who ever fought, or still fight; who laid down their lives, or who are/were willing to; to those who serve and guard and protect so that the only explosions I had to worry about seeing overhead evoked awe with their beauty, rather than terror over their destruction.

Blessed be

Mama Kelly

Written by Mama KellyTags:blog your blessings sunday, gratitude, Independence Day, july 4th

As our regular readers know, the family and I live with my dad.

It came about as a temporary measure nearly 9 years ago for a number of reasons and just gradually became permanent. Dad’s house has three bedrooms and a bath on the second floor. When we moved in this because like an apartment for us. Gamer Dude & I in one room, the girls sharing a bedroom, and the third bedroom became our TV room.

As the girls got older this setup has worked less and less.

1. We couldn’t all fit comfortably on the one couch anymore. With both girls over 5? now (as well as Gamer Dude & I being a bit fluffy) a three-seater is just too crowded.
2. The room the girls shared was too small for the job. Causing much in the way of clutter, as well as:
3. Miss Artistic’s mood disorder makes it even more important for them to each have their own space.
4. As my dad gets older we are making an effort to spend more time downstairs, because you just never know how much time you have left with someone.
5. as well as:

* door slamming
* yelling
* otherwise normal and standard pre-teen & teenage angst
* and much in the way of clothing crises of varying sizes and shapes

Back in the summer of 1991 when we moved in the girls were so young. Miss Artistic was 6 1/2 and Princess Nature was going on 2.

Now we have a young woman living with us, turning 16 before we hit 2011. (I met my husband at her age!) I am amazed to watch her evolve.

Our younger daughter is turning 11 in the Fall. She is on the cusp of little girl. Still clinging to it while at the same time yearning for what lies ahead.

Was it a sacrifice to give up the TV room? Frankly? Yes.

My husband enjoyed our private evenings. For now were hiding in our bedroom watching TV on the laptop. But that too will go away as it doesn’t really work for the long run.

Miss Artistic slept last night on her old bed in a room all her own. She barely remembers being able to do that.

Tucked into bed like I used to so long ago.

A room painted in shades of orange to compliment the color of her late grandmother’s drafting table. The one we gave her because she’s such a gifted artist.

A room yet to be fully decorated or accessorized, but its hers. And it makes her so happy that anything I may have given up on will be worth it … is worth it. I hope she realizes that she is worth it.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

cross posted over at Blade & Cauldron

Written by Mama KellyTags:family, home, kids, life

As always I am grateful for many things. For my family, my friends, for food in my ‘fridge.

But today I am especially grateful for my dear friend Lady Rose. Not only for the wonderful birthday gifts she brought me. But, for her company as well.

I first met Lady Rose when I was all of 18, and joined her circle a year later. Its amazing to me sometimes to remember how long she’s been a part of my life and how much she has seen me through. The initiations that occurred in her circle … the initiations that come with living life.

She always finds ways at Yule & at my birthday to spoil me. To give me gifts that I either would never allow myself the luxury of, or simply things that I would set aside indefinitely on my wish list. This year was no exception.

I was treated to gifts that acknowledged the healthy life changes I am working so hard at making (talked about in more depth at Blade & Cauldron), gifts that let me know that her heart & thoughts were with me while she was at Womongathering, and gifts that spoiled me more than I deserve.

As a change, rather than simply tell you about my treasures, we decided to show them to you.

Written by Mama KellyTags:birthday, blog your blessings sunday, gratitude, presents

Today I am grateful for a wonderful day yesterday. Time spent with my husband without the children. Dinner out and some time for romance as well.

Today I am grateful that this week is another short week, thanks to plans to spend Friday with a friend as a nice way to finish off her vacation week and to celebrate my 41st birthday. The plan is a few hours in Atlantic City playing the penny machines.

Today I am grateful for the continued return of my libido. My husband may be even more grateful than I am.

I am grateful for the love in my life, for the roof over my head, and for the food on my table. I am grateful just to be.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

Written by Mama KellyTags:blog your blessings sunday, gratitude

By now Lady Rose is enjoying the wonderful place that is Womongathering. I hope it is even more wonderful for her than our joint venture there was two years ago. Just my own perusal of the workshops available this year have my literally drooling over the possibilities for the next time that I can find my way there (and perhaps with other friends in tow, including “M” and “E” both of whom have been part of my life for years and years), and yes I do intend to get there again!

I can’t wait for Lady Rose’s return and to read her posts about her experiences, the classes she attends, and all the fun she has. I get to see her on the 12th for one of our semi-usual overnight visits and I’ll get even more details then as well, in between our usual silliness, and our planning of my hosting of a Slumber Parties party for her later this month.

In other news, things are pretty much status quo. Miss Artistic has a chest MRA tomorrow. My side project seems to have been met with a warm reception and I look forward to what it represents not only as the seed of a home business, but as the first step on the journey of creating the life that I (and Gamer Dude aka Accolan) want.

I rarely have time for spell-work. I even more rarely have space and privacy for any form of formal ritual. Some days I feel like the Pagan version of an A&P Catholic. But, at the end of the day it is still the God & Goddess I pray to. I believe that we are not given a dream without also being given the ability to see it bear fruit (in some way shape or form).

This weekend should find us working on the first of the inventory we need to compile in order for Blade & Cauldron to be a business, and not just another blog. So, a lot is going on – some good, some worrisome – but in the end I have hope … no, I have faith that it will all be alright in the end.

May it go well for you and yours

Blessings

Mama Kelly

(also known as Jia and also writing at Blade & Cauldron)

Written by Mama KellyTags:family, health, life, womongathering