2 Witches Blog » Happy New Year (a little late)

Jan

8th

Happy New Year (a little late)

Category: Lady Rose's Musings | Written by Lady Rose

I would like to wish everyone a (belated) happy and healthy new year.

The new year has been in full swing for a week and day now but I still haven’t gotten into the swing of doing much. I haven’t posted lately, so let me catch up a bit and let you all know what’s been going on.

I had a nice quiet holiday, with the last two weeks of December off. I spent the time with my family and got to visit Mama Kelly and her family for a long afternoon of exchanging gifts, pizza, and lots of fun chit chat. Didn’t do a thing on my to do list the entire two weeks, but I’m not going to beat myself up over it. Christmas day was delightful. In the afternoon my 12-year-old daughter, Angelgirl, and I went to the movies to see Twilight. It was so nice to be able to enjoy a “chick flick” with her. We decided to visit the relatives the next day and avoided the usual family Christmas choas (17 people all living together in a small house, and some of them not even relatives).

I haven’t been blogging much at all. Mostly because I have been in a sorta of sensory deprived bubble these past couple of months – no bursts of energy, no creativity or inspiring thoughts, just going along day by day. Emotionally I’m ok – just sorta of blah. My pain levels are sky high, but I’m coping and taking tons of aspirin each day. Also I think I had gotten way overloaded back in the early fall, with moving and opening the new domain here and my obsession with the news and following the presidential campaign.

New Year’s eve I fell asleep by 10 p.m. I think any holiday that requires you to miss out on what little sleep you can get is cruel and unusual punishment. I have no new year resolutions for this year. Looking back over the past 40 years or so that I’ve made them I have never once kept any. So this year I am not going to set myself up for failure, instead I’m just going to focus on taking each day one at a time and enjoying time with my family and friends.

Healthwise I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed. I’ve gained all the weight back and more (over 100 lbs) that I lost during 2007 to early 2008 when I stopped losing; by mid 2008 I was gaining again almost every week even though I was barely eating. My starting weight back in May 2007 was 293.5, I had managed to get down to 195.5 (for a day) in the summer of 2008 before the weight gain started gain.

Now I am weighing in at 302 lbs (and some days even more). I can barely walk from the parking lot to my office desk at work. I’m in constant pain with every joint in my body. I am out of breath doing the most simple things and a lot of other physical complaints to boring to discuss.

I asked the new cardiologist I went to in Nov. 2008 for help and he was very nice. He suggested gastric bypass surgery and promised to do whatever he could to help me get approved. It takes months and months to get approval, so it will be a long journey. I managed to get the referral from my primary doctor without too much trouble and made my consultation appointment, January 27. The good thing is the place I can go for the surgery is only about 10 minutes from my house (3 years ago when I looked into the surgery my insurance would only pay for a hospital all the way in another state so that was not an option for me).

I’m looking forward to the appointment and getting started, but also have concerns. For one thing it takes a very, very long time (several months) and lots of hoops have to be jumped through to get approved by the doctors and insurance company. The first step is to lose some weight – then sometimes what happens is the insurance denies your request for the surgery because you lost a few pounds. Second you have to have other ailments besides being obese. My BMI is over 50 so problem meeting the qualification of being over 40 BMI, but the only other official ailment I have is congestive heart failure and that may not be enough to get insurance approval. Third, some insurance companies require medical proof that you have been obese over 5 years and tried dieting for several years also. I don’t think I have that kind of documentation. Even though I’ve asked my doctors for years for help, all they ever say is “eat less” (even when I was only eating 800 calories a day), and I don’t think they made a note of that in my record.

However, I’m going to stay moderately optimistic and not worry. I’ll know a lot more once I have had my first consultation meeting. I realize that even with the surgery that I may never lose much weight, but just being able to never ever had to eat much again will be a relief and hopefully I will lose a few pounds and be a bit more comfortable walking around the house and at least be able to stand long enough to do the dishes.

I am keeping busy with a few craft projects. This past weekend I started a baby blanket for my nephew-in-laws baby (due May 15) and finished it last night (will try to get a photo up eventually if I ever find my daughter’s digital camera). I am also going to try and teach myself how to knit, but so far it’s not going very well. Decades ago when I tried to learn to knit I never did take to it, but I figure what the heck give it one more try. I picked up a $10 starter kit (2 sets of needles, pattern book, and few other accessories) and one skein of yarn for a scarf. I’ve been practicing a little the past few nights with some left of yarn but can’t really get the hang of it yet.

I will be visiting Mama Kelly the first weekend in February for our usual overnight visit. Maybe I can get her to take a photo of the three scarves I made – one for her and her 2 daughers. The crochet pattern was based one for a Luna Lovegood type scarf (from the Harry Potter movies).

I’m looking forward to Jan. 20 and welcoming in our new President, Barack Obama. I’m planning a little luncheon with the folks at work at a nearby restaurant that has tvs so hopefully we can watch the inauguration speech.. The rest will have to be taped and watched later that evening.

That is just about everything that is happening these days. I hope to get a bit more energy and inspiration and to get back to blogging.

Bright Blessings, Lady Rose

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7 Responses to “Happy New Year (a little late)”

By Jaspenelle on Jan 8, 2009 |

I am learning to knit as well! I received the dvd “The Complete Beginner’s Guide to Knitting” for Winter Solstice and I was knitting within 30 minutes! Just thought I would recommend it if the diagrams don’t work for you, the dvd is great because I can watch someone doing it and rewind as much as I want.

By Vicky Smith on Jan 8, 2009 |

Greetings Lady Rose,
I came to your blog by way of Aquila ka Hecate.
I wondered if you had seen an endocrinologist? I recently saw a program about a lady who tried exercise and basic starvation to lose weight to no avail. It turned out that her Cortisol levels were off the chart. Just a thought before you undergo bypass surgery.
Knitting is a soothing hobby. I used to be an avid knitter but caught up in too many other pursuits. I am currently learning more about Wicca.
Peace to you,
Vicky

By Lady Amaranth on Jan 9, 2009 |

Knitting is a wonderful hobby. I am both a knitter and a crocheter and I have to say, it’s a lot of fun.

I definitely wish you the best in attempting to get the bypass surgery. It seems everyone has different requirements as my old boss got the surgery just because she wanted it. She had no other reasons, just wanted it and she was approved. My doctor won’t even consider it even though none of the diets I’ve been on have worked. Go figure.

Lady Amaranth´s last blog post..Alas – No Yule Ritual For Me

By Lady Rose on Jan 9, 2009 |

Thanks for the knitting tips – I’m going to give it a good effort to learn at least some basics for simple projects like scrafs and shawls. I will always perfer crocheting though since for me it goes so much faster and is so much more portable.

Will keep everyone posted on updates on the gastric bypass surgery – whether or not I get approval, etc. Getting the cortisol levels checked is a good idea, as well thyroid, blood sugars etc. I’m sure there are a ton of tests I’ll have to take and will be sure to add this one the list to ask the doctors about.

Lady Rose´s last blog post..Please Remember Dante’s Family This Full Moon

By Thalia on Jan 9, 2009 |

I’m going to be totally obnoxious, but please, please, please read this:

http://junkfoodscience.blogspot.com/2007/02/when-scares-become-deadly-weighing.html

and while you’re there do please also read her entire Junkfood Science Bariatric Series (you’ll have to scroll way down to find the links on the right side of the page).

Please. I read this post and got a really, really bad feeling.

Sweetie, this world wants you alive.

By Lady Rose on Jan 9, 2009 |

Thalia – I appreciate your concern and the info. thank you

I have a long way to go before any final decisions are made on the surgery – plus I would most likely be opting for the lapband (as long as I qualify) which is a whole lot safer and only requires a few little nips to put it in place (no extensive surgery, much faster recovery, very little loss of blood, etc.).

There are risks to everything – including staying at the weight I am at – there isn’t a day that goes that I am not gasping for breath from doing the simplest thing and my heart isn’t racing and skipping beats. The quality of life I have is very low – I’m in a lot pain every single day, I can barely stand or walk for more then a few minutes, and my congestive heart failure is not going to get any better if I stay at this weight.

For every person who has complications or dies from the surgery, there are 100s more who have great results and improve their lives. I think that in some of the cases where patients died from the surgery – it was most likely also contritubed to by their poor health condition prior to the surgery. Also, the procedures have gotten a lot safer in the last few years.

I also know I may have the surgery, but never lose anything any way – especially since I’ve been on diets for years eating very little and stopping losing – my metabolism is completely shot.

I am sure that after the consultation the doctors will have tests done – IF they find a medical reason (such as thyroid, adrenal glands, blood sugar, etc.) for my inability to lose weight and they is something that can do to help I am more then willing to try it. However, all previous tests have always come back ok.

I am tired of starving, I’m tired of having everyone in the world telling me eat less, other saying eat more, etc etc etc etc – and still after 40 years of trying every diet plan on the planet I still get bigger and bigger.

IF I am approved and IF I decide to go through with the surgery, it will be after much thought and careful consideration.

By Thalia on Jan 11, 2009 |

Well, yes, that would be because diets don’t work.

I’m going to be obnoxious again and wonder out loud if your congestive heart failure isn’t due more to the stress of 40 years of dieting (i.e. starvation conditions, literally) than to your weight per se.

And yes, every surgery has its risks. Also I’m assuming you are an adult and that it is your body and you may do with it as you wish and as you judge. But what the articles I’ve linked to talk about is that weight-loss surgery, in particular, has greater risks associated with it than most other kinds of surgeries, and that those risks tend to be played down and not talked about. Also that since it is a surgery that makes some people a lot of money, it tends to be pushed on people (mostly women) who might not actually need it. And that the long-term effects haven’t really been studied.

Basically that weight-loss surgery is different from other surgeries in the way it is sold to people, and that one would have greater reason to be wary of it than other surgeries. Do please read those articles.

Also, to clarify: are you saying that your quality of life is so low that surgery that may well leave you malnourished for the rest of your life is an option?

I do not mean to minimize the health problems you are currently living through; forgive me if I sound like I am. Your post and comment just throw up so many red flags I can’t not say something.