I don’t know about you., but, when I’ve fallen behind in my blog reading I tend to try and skim as much as I can to “catch up.” The problem with this is that I invariably read something I really like and then promptly forget where I read it. Last night was one of those times.
On one of the many blogs I am subscribed to (over on bloglines) I read a poem. The gist of the poem, or I should more accuately say what I took away from the poem, speaks to something I’ve written about from time to time here on 2Witches (in all of its myriad previous forms), a sense of disconnect from the path I should be walking on. For a long time I have, simply put, felt lost.
The message that I received after reading this poem was, more or less, that I am not so much lost, as I am trapped. Trapped not by circumstance or situation, but by the very fact that I have put my true self, my soul dare I say it, in a cage.
Very little of my daily life reflects any part of who I want to be and the life I want to live. Most of the time I am, to one degree or another, in the broomcloset. Most of the time my energy is spent simply on existing/surviving, not really living.
This is not as morose as it is coming across. Actually to me there is more hope in it.
Because I cannot necessarily change much of my circumstances, but I can work on changing me. The way I use my time, the places I spend my energy, the good and bad that I put into the world each day.
I am not sure where this realization will take me. Will it evaporate like mist in the light of day? In the blur of the daily grind? I hope not.
I hope I can catch on to the tail of this, keep hold of it, and find my way to another life, a better way.
Blessings
Mama Kelly
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By Juniper on Nov 20, 2008 |
I know exactly what you mean. A few months ago, I was where you are now. I don’t know what switch got flipped in my brain, but I suddenly find myself opening up to the spiritual core of everyday things. That’s really the key — not what you do or what happens to you, but how you look at it and what you take away from it. It’s admittedly a slow awakening.
Maybe thinking of your true self as being in a protected and sacred place, rather than in a cage, will help you begin to nurture yourself and your spirituality. You take care of so many people in your life — you need just a little bit of time to take care of you, too.
Brightest blessings to you, Mama Kelly.
~Juni
By Dessa Wolf on Nov 20, 2008 |
Wow, Mama Kelly, I could have written this post almost verbatim. I always feel like I am trapped in this cage of who I am while who I want to be is fighting to get out.
By Willow Goldentree on Nov 21, 2008 |
That is a beautiful epiphany!
By Mama Kelly on Nov 21, 2008 |
Juniper
I have to say that I like your viewpoint, that my true self is in a safe and sacred place, waiting to come out.
Dessa
I wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone, but hope I made you feel less alone in it.
Willow
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