Well, I finally made it in to the Dr today. I went without my check list of issues, but managed to remember most of them.

He is starting me on Prozac for my depression and is strongly recommending therapy.  I don’t have a problem with the idea of a therapist, it’s more the finding room in the budget to pay for it on top of other ongoing medication bills and frequent Dr co-pays I am already juggling.

He is ordering a sleep study, not only because I am having multiple issues with getting any significant amount of restful sleep but because Gamer Dude says that I choke and stop breathing in my sleep.

He is ordering a bunch of blood work (including hormone levels to check on my ovarian remnant situation and tests for rheumatoid arthritis because of the crunchy joints) and has me scheduled for a follow-up visit with him in 6 weeks to go over all results.

Additionally he gave me a muscle relaxant script for my all-too-frequent headaches that don’t respond to anything over-the-counter, told me that I have to get a handle on the stress because its starting to affect my blood pressure, and was very firm in stating that I am in no way to sign up for Tae Kwon Do at this point and simply work on using our Wii Fit to gradually work on getting in shape.

When I go back just before Ostara I will address the other issues that I forgot to mention today.

So I may have failed to honor Imbolc in a circle or with a coven but I did honor part of my goal for myself this year which is to reclaim my true self – my health, my spirituality, my dreams.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

Written by Mama KellyTags:anxiety, depression, health, pain, sleep disorder

Not much is new here in Mama Kelly’s household.  I haven’t had any free time to manage any exciting news.

I am working approximately 48 hours a week and I do not get a day completely off.  Today was my 16th day in a row at work and it is not good for me.  Telemarketing on a good day is a rough, high stress job.  The fact that overtime has still not returned and my only hope at extra money is working a commission based project is not helping.  Unfortunately I have anxiety issues even when life is running smoothly, and right now I am pretty stressed about being able to financially pull off a Happy Holiday, keep paying for Tae Kwon Do, and pay my monthly bills.

It will be ok.  It always is.  Its just going to take a few more sacrifices. 

The big one is going to be taking yet another semester off from school.  I cannot see myself coming up with the extra $500-600 right now, especially on the heels of Yule.  However, I am not closing the door completely as if some things work in my favor I may be able to afford it “last minute” and register for something in January right before the official start of the semester.

The other thing is going to be simply buying less this year and doing everything I can with sales, etc. to make it seem like more.  I’ve been picking up a few things here and there, both via Amazon and from some small online vendors.  I am hoping that I will have enough items with “WOW factor” that the overall smaller haul will be less noticable.  Unfortunately this is also going to mean that I will not be buying anything else toward Toys for Tots this year.  I already have a small stack of items to donate but I cannot see my way clear to buy anything else.

Finally, it is going to mean cutting back as much as possible on all of our other expenses.  Food shopping, utilities, and all sorts of unnecessary “extras” that wind up coming home with me from my errand running.  And some of the creature comforts as well, like the cans of soda and seltzer I bring with me from home, the snacks that I take to work and eat during TV time.  I am certainly well padded enough that I can cut back significantly on my food intake before I do any harm LOL.

In the meantime all I can do is work as much as much as possible, cut coupons, send away for freebies, and utter prayers to all the Gods and Goddesses that this too shall pass and maybe one day GamerDude and I can get out from under the black cloud of impending financial doom that we tend to live under.

In the meantime all I can do is focus on the positive.  That, for the most part, we are all happy and healthy.  That I have friends who love me.  That I get to see 2 of my closest friends right around the holidays … my friend “E” over the solstice weekend and my friend “M” at Christmas.  That, in spite of my worries and fears, I know I will manage to make a holiday that will make my girls happy, even the younger who is holding on desperately to the belief in the Old Fat Man.

In the meantime I hope to get some more on topic Pagan content up soon.  In the meantime:

Don’t forget to check out our giveaway

and

Our Thanksgiving Coloring Pages to Print Out

Blessings

Mama Kelly

Written by Mama KellyTags:anxiety