Today I am grateful that after not one, but two separate hospital stays, that Miss Artistc is not only home, but with a diagnosis.

Today I am grateful that after investigating obvious answers, and then some really scary possibilities as well, that her diagnosis is nothing more serious than GERD and vasovagal syncope (usually triggered by exertion (think Tae Kwon Do) or coughing (think asthma and acid reflux)).

Today I am grateful that helping her get better involves nothing more than adding a new medication to her regimen and making changes to her diet and lifestyle.

Today I am grateful for having health insurance I can barely afford so that I only have to stress about a little over $1000 in medical bills related to said hospital stays as opposed to the tens of thousands I’d otherwise be paying.

Today I am grateful to have a job that allows me to have such flexibility in my schedule.  While I will have to suffer through the lost pay from the past weeks at least I still have a job to return to.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

Written by Mama KellyTags:blog your blessings sunday, GERD, health, syncope

By now Lady Rose is enjoying the wonderful place that is Womongathering. I hope it is even more wonderful for her than our joint venture there was two years ago. Just my own perusal of the workshops available this year have my literally drooling over the possibilities for the next time that I can find my way there (and perhaps with other friends in tow, including “M” and “E” both of whom have been part of my life for years and years), and yes I do intend to get there again!

I can’t wait for Lady Rose’s return and to read her posts about her experiences, the classes she attends, and all the fun she has. I get to see her on the 12th for one of our semi-usual overnight visits and I’ll get even more details then as well, in between our usual silliness, and our planning of my hosting of a Slumber Parties party for her later this month.

In other news, things are pretty much status quo. Miss Artistic has a chest MRA tomorrow. My side project seems to have been met with a warm reception and I look forward to what it represents not only as the seed of a home business, but as the first step on the journey of creating the life that I (and Gamer Dude aka Accolan) want.

I rarely have time for spell-work. I even more rarely have space and privacy for any form of formal ritual. Some days I feel like the Pagan version of an A&P Catholic. But, at the end of the day it is still the God & Goddess I pray to. I believe that we are not given a dream without also being given the ability to see it bear fruit (in some way shape or form).

This weekend should find us working on the first of the inventory we need to compile in order for Blade & Cauldron to be a business, and not just another blog. So, a lot is going on – some good, some worrisome – but in the end I have hope … no, I have faith that it will all be alright in the end.

May it go well for you and yours

Blessings

Mama Kelly

(also known as Jia and also writing at Blade & Cauldron)

Written by Mama KellyTags:family, health, life, womongathering

Miss Artistic saw the pulmonary specialist today.  First and foremost I really really like the man.  Very much on his game, great bedside manner, good sense of humor.  They did a breathing test – a Spirometry – and diagnosed her with asthma based on the results.

We came home with samples of 3 meds (a daily inhaler, a rescue inhaler, and a nasal spray for allergies) that she is to start on. Including the headache medication she started also tonight, this brings her daily medication total up to 8.

Don’t even get me started on how much all these meds cost (or will cost) us each month.

She also has to get some more tests done. As I mentioned yesterday she has to go for an MRI for the neurologist, but now the pulmonary specialist wants her to get a chest MRA as well.

I will of course keep you all posted …

In other news, Gamer Dude & I had our follow up with our GP this afternoon. He is officially down 29 pounds and I am down 17. His triglycerides are still high but our Doctor is willing to let him come back in 4 months for a recheck and have us try using Omega Fatty Acids in the meantime. My own cholesterol numbers are greatly improved, but he is keeping me on medication at least until my own followup blood work in November.

We also discussed the results of my sleep study which show issues with my sleep architecture. In layman’s terms I am sleeping, but am failing to get enough deep sleep or REM. Additionally, because Chiari malformations can run in families (and I have the “right” type of headache to make such speculation logical) he is ordering an MRA of the brain for me.

I plan to enjoy my food this weekend. I am preparing lighter fare than we generally consume on a summertime holiday weekend, of course, but I plan to give myself permission to enjoy myself and then as of Tuesday I will be tweaking the eating plan to get myself off of the plateau Ive been sitting on for the last couple of weeks. But this weekend I am going to enjoy the first weekend of “summer” and time with my family and 3 days in a row that don’t require that I set my alarm clock.

May you enjoy your weekends as well.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

Written by Mama KellyTags:family, health, kids

Today finds me with another long weekend, full of unpaid time off.  I thought about going to work today and sending Gamer Dude and Miss Artistic off to the neurologist without me, but reconsidered.

First of all, it has been a terrible few days at work.  Beyond that though, of the two of us I have a better head for all things medical and as I wanted to make sure we touched on topics such as medication, risk of other family members having the Chiari malformation, and my own diagnosis with neurofibromatosis it seemed a better idea to have me there than to have Gamer Dude try go off with a list of prepared questions and an admonition to remember everything said or discussed.

We don’t really know anything more than we did before going to the appointment.  He’s ordering more MRIs (of her cervical and thorasic spine to rule out spinal cord cysts) and is going to try a daily migraine medication to see if it will help her pain levels at all.  Other than that we will go see him in a month, review all of her films and decide what, if anything, needs to be done from there (in terms of more testing, different medications, or a referral to a neurosurgeon).

Tomorrow will find us at a pulmonary specialist.  Again, I do not expect to learn anything new other than to come home with orders for other (probably somewhat more invasive) tests and perhaps a prescription of some kind.  Later in the day Gamer Dude & I have our own appointment with our GP to review our recent bloodwork, determine my need to continue on cholesterol meds, and discuss either starting hubby on one himself (or hopefully get a reprieve for a while, make more dietary changes, and test again in 3 months or so).

In between all of this we have to follow up with the Walmart vision center who is trying to convince my insurance that I really really didn’t get new eyeglasses last year and so I do deserve them, start shopping and cooking both for the week to come and the holiday weekend ahead.  And in my spare time (what’s that?) I have work yet to do on my super secret side project which will be announced right here just past midnight on June 1st.

That’s it in the proverbial nutshell.

Be well

Be blessed

Mama Kelly

Written by Mama KellyTags:chiari malformation, family, health, life

As you know I’ve been away from blogging for the past several weeks because my old laptop bit the dust. Well today I ordered a brand new PURPLE (my favorite color) Dell Studio 15 laptop, with enough bells and whistles to keep me happy for a long time. However, it won’t be delivered until April 29. At least it will arrive in time for my overnight visit with Mama Kelly on May 1st (which is looooong overdue – the crazyness that is our lives resulted in our having to reschedule our visit the past few months). The laptop has a built in webcam so I am hopeful that we can figure out how to use it so that Mama Kelly and I can do a few webcams for the blog. Most likely we will start out with tarot reviews, but who knows what we will come up with eventually.

Angelgirl (my daughter) turns 14 next month (and starts high school next year **shudders at the thought**) - so we decided to surprise her on Easter by telling her we are getting her own laptop as a combination Easter and birthday gift. We found a really nice Dell on sale for her at Best Buy, so she was able to get her laptop last night. We have one happy teenager in the house! She is off this week for spring break and I’m sure she will be glued to the laptop and her drawing table (she got for xmas) most of that time.

I started taking an introductory qi gong class last Thursday and I LOVE IT! The class meets once a week for 13 weeks (I’ll miss one while I’m away at Womongathering in June). It is an introductory course. Each week we learn a couple of new movements. I am not sure if I will take a tai chi class next, but who knows. My primary goal for right now is to learn as much as I can about qi gong and practice daily. For those who are curious, the difference between qi gong and tai chi is: qi gong are movements taht are repeated a few times, whereas tai chi is a series of movements done one after the other.

My journey to getting healthy and losing weight is progressing, slowly of course – but that is the way body works. I’ve lost a total of 128 lbs so far since I started last March in preparation for the gastric bypass surgery that I had last August. So far I have given away a ton of clothes that I no longer can wear to my sister and Mama Kelly. A couple of ladies from work have passed on clothes to me that I can wear now so I haven’t had to buy much at this new size; which is a good thing since I still have another 40 lbs to go and will need smaller clothes in the coming months.

As a reward to myself, once I reach my goal (or close to it) I plan on getting all dressed up and having one of those fancy photo shoots done. I plan to include a medieval outfit (either buying one or borrowing the black dress my friend has) and a witchy look (perhaps bringing along a few props like a crystal ball and tarot cards).

As another reward to myself, this October I turn 55, and I hope to get my last tattoos – on the inside of my wrists. I am not sure what I’m getting yet – but it will be small (since that area is sensitive).

I’m looking forward to the new laptop April 29th, visiting Mama Kelly May 1st, and getting back to being able to blog on a more regular basis soon.

Wishing everyone bright blessings, Lady Rose

Written by Lady RoseTags:health, laptop, qi qong, weight loss

Well I had my sleep study last night.

I fully intended to post embarrassing pictures, but GamerDude only  stayed with me for about 45 minutes before going home to put the girls to bed.  It was a good thing as they didn’t start wiring me up for about another 45 minutes, at which point they put me in bed and turned the lights off on me.

I won’t know the results for about 2 weeks (10 business days) but since they did not come in to put me in a CPAP mask in the middle of the night the odds are that I either do not have sleep apnea, or only have a mild case.  Which is a good thing, definitely, but ruling it out doesn’t necessarily help me figure out why the heck I wake up exhausted each and every day.

This morning they wanted me to estimate how long it took me to fall asleep and how many hours sleep I got.  Since I was in a completely dark room, with no clock, everything was a guess – which I assume is what they were looking for – my interpretation of my sleep quality.  I “guessed” that I fell asleep after about 15 minutes initially (it had been a long and emotionally exhausting day which oddly enough worked in my favor for a change) and “guessed” that I slept about 7 hours (though broken).

The question that made me chuckle was them asking me to compare last night’s sleep quality to my usual sleep.  Seriously, its like comparing apples and oranges.

I don’t generally go to sleep with wires down my pants, glued to my legs; or an air flow monitor tickling the inside of my nostrils; or electrodes glued to my scalp, face, and neck; or a pulse oximeter taped to one finger.

I don’t generally sleep in a bed that isn’t mine, without my husband beside me; or with a stranger waking me up twice during the night to reattach or readjust my monitoring devices.

But, I figured my sleep at home is pretty broken, and I woke up feeling just about the same that I do at 6:10 on a typical morning so I judged it “about the same.”

At least I know they recorded me waking up at least 3 or 4 other times, and hopefully my brain waves will tell them why.

I got home at about 7am, hugged my girls, and poured my weary self into my own soft and comfy bed.  Miss Artistic, who has been having another flare up in her depression issues (see the emotionally exhausting day noted above) crawled into bed beside me and we dozed on and off for a while.

I am up and showered (hopefully managing after 2 shampoos to get all the glue out of my hair) and not entirely sure what I am doing with the rest of my day as yet.

Here’s hoping everyone has a lovely weekend.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

Written by Mama KellyTags:health, insomnia, sleep study

As of this writing my only celebration is my continued journey on reclaiming my health.

GamerDude and I had our follow up appointment today with our GP.  This is the summary.

• We have to go in on May 21 for repeat blood-work and then a week later to review results.
• GamerDude has until our next appointment to get his cholesterol and blood sugar down or he is joining me on the medication bandwagon.
• My blood pressure remains high, although taking a few deep breaths allows him to get a reading in the safe range.
• My hormonal blood work shows that I am still not in menopause despite the removal of my ovaries 5 years ago – proving the presence of an ovarian remnant – and explaining why my pain is creeping back up to pre-hysterectomy levels.
• The scale moved a couple of pounds in the right direction since we were last there 6 weeks ago.
• My Prozac dose was increased.
• I have a script for some kind of steroidal medication to deal with some scalp eczema I’ve been self-treating unsuccessfully for the last year and a half.
• Our dietary changes were all approved with the exception of flax seed.

My goal is to try and lose 15 pounds before we go back, stick to all of my healthy eating changes, and maybe even get in to see my gynecologist.

On the way home I ran in to the health food store and bought more fat free yogurt (I am starting to live on the stuff) and picked up an unflavored and unsweetened soy-based protein powder to use with our shakes.  Not only will this trim a bit more cholesterol from our diets, but it will trim a bit more sugar from GamerDude’s as well.

Other than that, its just another day in Mama Kelly Land.  I am keeping my fingers occupied with my super secret side project (to be revealed, hopefully, on June 1) and my brain busy trying to convince myself that my health is worth the extra money at the grocery store, the extra effort, and the loss of potato chips and bacon-horseradish dip.

I plan on spending the rest of the weekend doing my usual cooking, some additional cleaning and de-cluttering, watching TV with my girls, and probably drop the car off for repairs.

Happy Ostara one and all!! May the budding earth and returning warmth brighten your hearts and lighten your spirits.  May you each be truly blessed.

Mama Kelly

Written by Mama KellyTags:diet, health, life, Ostara

… but the health food store sure can!

Tonight, I dropped the girls off at Tae Kwon Do and dashed over to the neighboring shopping center where there is a health food store. I am determined, one way or another, to reclaim my health and as we are just about a week before Ostara (and more importantly a few days ahead of Gamer Dude’s monthly check) it seemed a fitting time to start making some major changes in what I’m putting in my mouth each day.

I bought a bunch of supplements. Green tea and chromium to boost my metabolism from its present slow as a slug rate. I plan to (hopefully) be able to have the caffeine in the green tea replace my morning coffee (and the fat and chemicals it contains). An omega 3-6-9 supplement for heart health. Nature’s Plus – Animal Parade Kid Greenz since with my digestive issues (no gall bladder and bowel adhesions) often cause any intake in greens to cause an increase in pain.  And I finally broke down and spent the money on supplements I can found in my research several months ago (Nature’s Plus – Source Of Life Green/Red Bilayer Tabs) because they contain all kinds of trace levels of whole foods.

I also bought some fat free strained Greek yogurt (love this stuff!), local honey (to help the allergies), an acai-pomegranate-cranberry juice blend, and some whey protein powder.  The latter two will be used to make smoothies for breakfast every morning along with frozen and fresh fruit I have to buy tomorrow at my supermarket.  I also picked up raw almonds (a few a day for “good fat”), Guiltless Gourmet Blue Corn Organic Baked Tortilla Chips, and some ingredients for some dishes I’m making this coming weekend.

In other news, GamerDude and I are talking again about a home business idea we came up with 5 years ago and, right now, this is looking like not only do I have to get off my tail and start blogging more regularly here again, but I am going to have a whole new blog/website to get up and running too.  Thus, my motivation for jumping on the bandwagon with both feet and trying to get myself on the path to wellness.  On the bright side, this probably means I’ll be getting a new laptop sooner as opposed to later.

Finally, my thanks to those who took the time to leave kind words on my last post, or who have held me and my family in your thoughts. Words alone cannot express how much it means to me.  The wonderful thing about the Internet (as was summed up in a recent episode of House) is that no one ever has to be alone again.  All of you …  every day … keep me from feeling alone …. and I love and bless you for it.

Mama Kelly

Written by Mama KellyTags:diet, health, life, supplements

As usual, when I am feeling soul-sick, my blog posts dwindle down to the level of little to nothing. For that, I apologize. This is exacerbated by, as Lady Rose mentioned, the lack of a laptop which lessens the time I have to actually sit down and blog. Hopefully, in another couple of months this will be resolved (if nothing else I hope to be able to do it for my birthday in June)

Unfortunately, there are a number of other things that take precedence. There are the family issues to still resolve, the monthly medical bills (a total of 9 prescriptions (and counting) for 3 people, doctor visits, and therapy sessions), getting the taxes done, and hopefully getting a resume together at some point so I can look for a better job.

We first need to do some costly repairs on the car, we need to finally break down and purchase a second vehicle (so that I CAN actually look for another job), and we need to take care of some other impending expenses such as registering Princess Nature for summer camp.

In addition, I am still in the midst of playing catch up with my health. In addition to starting Prozac, I am now also on a cholesterol lowering drug. I went in for my eye exam (and am now the proud owner of a script for bifocals) and will be getting my eyeglasses in mid-April. My sleep study is set for the end of the month and I am trying to make peace with the knowledge that I may just wind up needing a bedside buddy (I think I’ll name him Henry). My follow-up appointment with my primary is on the 19th, where we’ll go over all of my lab results, talk about other aspects of my symptomology, and probably wind up with orders to see other Drs (i.e. a cardiologist). The gynecologist is on the list as well (though I am waiting to see if my labs still show me as non-menopausal in spite of a total hysterectomy and ovary removal).

Additionally, the girls need to get to the dentist (technically so do Gamer Dude and I as we haven’t been in YEARS) for their check-up and cleaning. And, we have to start the process of getting Miss Artistic evaluated for a breast reduction. Which, right now, we are hoping to do right after school lets out in June.

Speaking of the girls. Both Princess Nature and Miss Artistic have some kind of bug. It “feels” viral to me. Sore throat with no obvious signs of infection (redness, swelling, pus pockets), malaise, nausea, and a cough. No fevers, but still I am considering a trip to the pediatrician as it is the time of year for strep. The bulk of the weekend (so long as my Netflix shipment cooperates) will be spent watching Glee with one or both of them (in-between my usual marathon style cooking) while they rest and I force fluids into them.

In other news, I attended a wake last night for a friend of the family. “A” was one of my older cousin’s oldest friends. Since they grew up together and remained friends into adulthood, “A” was often in attendance at family functions over the years and while I didn’t know him well, or consider him a friend of my own, I still knew him my entire life. So, it was incredibly sad to hear that his car was struck on his evening commute by someone who ran a red light.

Beyond that I keep hearing this nagging thought in my head that reminds me of my own mortality. The voice that whispers that none of us know when the proverbial lightening bolt will fall from the sky bringing us to the end of this life. The voice that with increasing volume speaks to me not only of my regrets but of the realization that I have now been living with my life on hold for almost a decade, waiting for our life circumstances to allow me to be the person I want to be in full sight of the world.

Which brings me back full circle to one of the factors of my having been, to one degree or another, soul sick for the past too many years. Too much stress, too much heartache, too much hardship, with too little in my life to fill me back up. Hopefully getting myself back on track with my health will play a role in not only my feeling better physically but also in helping me have the energy to do the things that need to be done in order for me to reclaim the life I want to lead.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

Written by Mama KellyTags:depression, family, health, life, stress

Well, I finally made it in to the Dr today. I went without my check list of issues, but managed to remember most of them.

He is starting me on Prozac for my depression and is strongly recommending therapy.  I don’t have a problem with the idea of a therapist, it’s more the finding room in the budget to pay for it on top of other ongoing medication bills and frequent Dr co-pays I am already juggling.

He is ordering a sleep study, not only because I am having multiple issues with getting any significant amount of restful sleep but because Gamer Dude says that I choke and stop breathing in my sleep.

He is ordering a bunch of blood work (including hormone levels to check on my ovarian remnant situation and tests for rheumatoid arthritis because of the crunchy joints) and has me scheduled for a follow-up visit with him in 6 weeks to go over all results.

Additionally he gave me a muscle relaxant script for my all-too-frequent headaches that don’t respond to anything over-the-counter, told me that I have to get a handle on the stress because its starting to affect my blood pressure, and was very firm in stating that I am in no way to sign up for Tae Kwon Do at this point and simply work on using our Wii Fit to gradually work on getting in shape.

When I go back just before Ostara I will address the other issues that I forgot to mention today.

So I may have failed to honor Imbolc in a circle or with a coven but I did honor part of my goal for myself this year which is to reclaim my true self – my health, my spirituality, my dreams.

Blessings

Mama Kelly

Written by Mama KellyTags:anxiety, depression, health, pain, sleep disorder